EP 0099 - The Habit Of Words

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For full show notes on this episode: https://theanxioustruth.com/99

We naturally develop habits with respect to the way we talk about, think about, and write about our anxiety problems. This is the habit of words, and it matters. Identifying unhealthy and counterproductive habits of words, then working to replace them with more recovery-focused habits is well worth the effort.

The most common habit of words is the habit of constantly saying how you feel, what you're afraid of, and how much you hate it all.  This is the habit that most people in the grips of an anxiety disorder naturally develop.  This is a bad habit.  Constantly talking about, thinking about, and writing about what you feel is a form of safety and reassurance seeking. This is bad because it reinforces the mistaken cognitive connection between discomfort and fear.  If you are spending an inordinate amount of time telling people what you're feeling and experiencing in a passive way, you are hoping to both comforted and saved from your anxiety and its symptoms.  This sends the wrong signal to your brain.  This tells your brain that anxiety is a problem that requires evasive action and rescue.  You are inadvertently reinforcing the foundation of the disorder.

You may understand why seeking safety or engaging in avoidance is a bad thing, however you may wonder why its wrong to want to be soothed or comforted when afraid.  Aside from the reinforcement of the disorder we discussed, asking other people to make you feel better is giving away the power you have to make yourself feel better over time.  YOU are capable of driving the recovery bus.  When you rely on others to comfort and soothe you all the time, you are handing the keys to them.  You are asking them to drive the bus.  They may want to, but nobody can drive your recovery bus but you.  Nobody else can drive you to recovery land.

If constantly telling everyone (including yourself) how you feel  is a bad habit, then what is a good habit?  How can you change this? ....

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