Caligula: Rome’s Most Unhinged Emperor (and His Floating Sex Boat)

This week, we’re diving toga-first into the life and utter chaos of Caligula—the Roman emperor who ruled for just four years and made every single second a full-blown historical fever dream.

From horse palaces and floating orgy boats to stabbing Poseidon and bullying his own guards, Caligula redefined what it meant to rule like a god (or at least think he was one). But was he really mad… or just the ultimate troll in a laurel wreath?

This is Roman history at its weirdest—and honestly, its most fun.

⏱️ What You’ll Hear

• 00:02:00 – Who was Caligula really? And why did soldiers call him “Little Boots”?

• 00:06:00 – Roman power struggles, poisoned dads, and childhood trauma

• 00:08:00 – The golden-boy emperor everyone loved… until he got sick

• 00:11:00 – Enter: the villain era. Tormenting senators, gladiator cosplay, and birthday revenge

• 00:13:00 – Floating bridges, floating orgies, and Mussolini’s wild archaeological discovery

• 00:17:00 – Declaring war on the ocean and forcing soldiers to collect seashells

• 00:20:00 – The assassination that changed Roman history—and why the public still loved him

  
  

  
  

🤯 Why You’ll Love This Episode

If you like:

• Ancient history with drama that rivals reality TV

• Stories of power, pettiness, and possible mental illness

• Tangents about orgy boats and emotionally sensitive dictators

…this one’s for you.

🧠 Fun Facts You’ll Be Googling After This

• “Caligula” literally means Little Boots

• He once declared war on Poseidon and made his army stab the sea

• His orgy boats were real—and Mussolini found them

• He might have made it illegal to mention goats in front of him

• Caligula’s biographers: Suetonius and Cassius Dio

• Upcoming Patreon lecture: Samurai Ladies

• A love letter to weird history episodes past (yes, even the Pope excommunicating cats)

This one is vintage For the Love of History—chaotic, messy, and full of weird Roman facts you’ll absolutely bring up at brunch. Thank you for helping me hit a new download record (!!!) and for being the best little history nerds on the internet.

💌 Call to Action

If Caligula didn’t ban public affection, I won’t either. So please:

• Subscribe & review (mention your weirdest Roman fact!)

• Share with your favorite toga-wearing friends

• Support on Patreon for sleepy history, lectures, and more chaos

• Use code THANKYOU for free shipping on your merch (you earned it)

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Don’t forget: drink your water, do something kind for yourself, and maybe don’t stab the sea today. Just a thought. 🐚

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