Everyone Can’t Be an Arsehole

Have you ever left an event and thought: "My God, those people are dull." "People were so rude." "No one made me feel welcome." "Blimey, I’m not doing that again." And by the time you get home, it’s not just the event. It’s confirmation - "The art world isn’t for me."

But if that’s the story you keep leaving with… it’s worth asking what’s really going on – After all, not everyone in that room can be an arsehole.

What you think you’re reading in a room is often not the room at all. Your brain is wired to detect threat. Not physical threat. Social threat.

A look. A short answer. A pause. And your brain fills in the gaps: “They’re not interested.” “I’ve said the wrong thing.” “I don’t belong here.”

So, you withdraw. You close down. You leave early.

And just like that… you’ve created the very experience you were trying to avoid and stop attending events – and miss out on all that they offer.

 

That’s the loop.

This week - I’m giving you a simple way to interrupt that negative loop.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Your negative read of a room (e.g., “everyone is rude,” “this world isn’t for me”) is often not an accurate reflection of what is going on.

• Your brain isn’t passively reading reality; it’s predicting based on past experiences and filling in gaps. What you feel in a moment is a mix of what’s happening now and what your brain expects to happen.

• Asking “What else could this mean?” gives you a more open, less fear-driven interpretation.

• Ceri’s KIND process is a simple, four-step way to interrupt the automatic “they don’t like me/I don’t belong” story. It helps you stay open, calm your body, and take one small extra action so you can create new, more accurate experiences instead of confirming old fears.

BEST MOMENTS

“What you feel in a moment isn't just what's happening now, it's what your brain expects is happening. So instead of asking, what did that mean? Try what else could this mean?”

“Honestly, in a room full of creative people, it simply cannot be true that every single one is an asshole, it just can't. – So, if that's the story you're walking in with, it's worth asking, Is this the room, or is this my lens?”

“She wasn't being excluded. She was reacting to a micro moment of uncertainty as if it were rejection.”

PODCAST HOST BIO

With over 35 years in the art world, Ceri has worked closely with leading artists and arts professionals, managed public and private galleries and charities, and curated more than 250 exhibitions and events. She has sold artworks to major museums and private collectors and commissioned thousands of works across diverse media, from renowned artists such as John Akomfrah, Pipilotti Rist, Rafael Lozano-Hemmer and Vito Acconci. Now, she wants to share her extensive knowledge with you, so you can excel and achieve your goals.

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Unlock Your Artworld Network Self Study Course

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Book a Discovery Call Today

To schedule a personalised 1-2-1 coaching session with Ceri or explore our group coaching options, simply email us at hello@cerihand.com

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This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/