How Letting Things Fall Apart Can Actually Help

2019-12-08

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For years I played the role of the fixer and mender. I held it all together. I was the glue. Without me, my ex-husband and his addiction would fall apart. I thought if I could just run around and excuse his behavior, clean up the messes, hide the evidence, fib to his boss, it would all be okay eventually. Can you relate? Well, I was wrong. Once I learned what I should actually be doing, I dropped that exhausting role of trying to be the glue. Instead, I let it all go. I let it all fall ...

For years I played the role of the fixer and mender. I held it all together. I was the glue. Without me, my ex-husband and his addiction would fall apart.

I thought if I could just run around and excuse his behavior, clean up the messes, hide the evidence, fib to his boss, it would all be okay eventually.

Can you relate?

Well, I was wrong.

Once I learned what I should actually be doing, I dropped that exhausting role of trying to be the glue.

Instead, I let it all go. I let it all fall apart. Everything. I stopped fixing. I stopped lying for him. I stopped covering. I stopped downplaying.

And here’s the thing: it actually helped. I know, that may sound crazy, especially if you’re in the thick of playing this fixer role.

Listen to find out how letting it all fall apart can be the most helpful thing you could do for your partner (and yourself).

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