According to Merriam-Webster, the word “conversation” has 36 synonyms, ranging from the alliterative (”confabulation”) to the arcane (”persiflage”). Why the linguistic profusion? Because conversing is a fundamental part — maybe the fundamental part — of being human.
We chat with our families, friends, strangers, and co-workers, and we communicate in phone calls, text messages, emails, and, occasionally, postcards. When these tête-à-têtes go well, it is oddly thrilling; we become better versions of ourselves — warmer and wiser, funnier, and consistently insightful. Best of all, a good dialogue is a direct route to connection. “The bond of all companionship,” wrote Oscar Wilde, “whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.”
But when a conversation goes poorly, when it stays on the surface (”what do you do for a living?”) or devolves into a sputtering mess of misunderstanding (”you’re overreacting!”), we don’t feel the invigorating pulse of connection. What we feel, instead, is the emotional equivalent of a busy signal.
So, this hour, we’re asking: how can we have better conversations? And to help answer that question, we’re joined by Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and the bestselling author of “The Power of Habit” and now “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.” Charles, as you’ll hear, is something of supercommunicator himself, a lithe storyteller who’s as well-versed in evolutionary biology as he is in the latest psychology, and after studying the art and science of communication for the last few years, he’s concluded that anyone can become a great conversationalist. You just have to master a few simple skills. Tune in to find out what they are.
Host: Rufus Griscom
Guest: Charles Duhigg
Book: “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection”
*THE NEXT BIG IDEA CLUB*
We all know that reading is the best investment we can make in ourselves, but figuring out what to read … well, that’s another matter. Which is why we started the Next Big Idea Club. We get the best new books — as chosen by our curators (Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, Susan Cain, and Daniel Pink) — into the hands of curious people. Like you! Join us today at nextbigideaclub.com
Why the Modern World Puts Us All at Risk for Addiction (2021)
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RISE AND SHINE: How to Have the Perfect Morning
Artificial Intelligence Meets Virtual Worlds: The Future of Sentience
You Should Have More Fun This Summer. Here’s Why.
PARKING: How It Explains the World
OUTLIVE (Part 2): How to Optimize Your Diet, Sleep, and Emotional Health
OUTLIVE (Part 1): Peter Attia’s Guide to the Science of Longevity
THE WAGER: David Grann Tells a Tale of Shipwreck and Mutiny
THE REAL WORK: Adam Gopnik on the Mystery of Mastery
JOY OF MOVEMENT: How Exercise Can Help You Find Happiness and Connection
BREAKTHROUGH: How to Get Unstuck and Achieve Anything
EXCELLENT ADVICE: Life Lessons From Wired Co-Founder Kevin Kelly
SELFLESS: Why “You” Are a Social Creation
The Next Big Idea Club Presents — "Immortality: A User's Guide"
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SENSES: Gretchen Rubin’s Guide to Getting Out of Your Head and Into the World
PSYCH: The Story of the Human Mind
PREPPY: The Surprising Origins of American Style
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