According to Merriam-Webster, the word “conversation” has 36 synonyms, ranging from the alliterative (”confabulation”) to the arcane (”persiflage”). Why the linguistic profusion? Because conversing is a fundamental part — maybe the fundamental part — of being human.
We chat with our families, friends, strangers, and co-workers, and we communicate in phone calls, text messages, emails, and, occasionally, postcards. When these tête-à-têtes go well, it is oddly thrilling; we become better versions of ourselves — warmer and wiser, funnier, and consistently insightful. Best of all, a good dialogue is a direct route to connection. “The bond of all companionship,” wrote Oscar Wilde, “whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.”
But when a conversation goes poorly, when it stays on the surface (”what do you do for a living?”) or devolves into a sputtering mess of misunderstanding (”you’re overreacting!”), we don’t feel the invigorating pulse of connection. What we feel, instead, is the emotional equivalent of a busy signal.
So, this hour, we’re asking: how can we have better conversations? And to help answer that question, we’re joined by Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist and the bestselling author of “The Power of Habit” and now “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.” Charles, as you’ll hear, is something of supercommunicator himself, a lithe storyteller who’s as well-versed in evolutionary biology as he is in the latest psychology, and after studying the art and science of communication for the last few years, he’s concluded that anyone can become a great conversationalist. You just have to master a few simple skills. Tune in to find out what they are.
Host: Rufus Griscom
Guest: Charles Duhigg
Book: “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection”
*THE NEXT BIG IDEA CLUB*
We all know that reading is the best investment we can make in ourselves, but figuring out what to read … well, that’s another matter. Which is why we started the Next Big Idea Club. We get the best new books — as chosen by our curators (Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, Susan Cain, and Daniel Pink) — into the hands of curious people. Like you! Join us today at nextbigideaclub.com
HUMOR: How to Turn Levity Into Your Secret Weapon
BEGINNERS: The Joys of Being an Amateur
THINK AGAIN: Adam Grant on the Power of Changing Your Mind
VOICE: You Are What You Speak
THE BRAIN: A User’s Guide to the Blob Between Your Ears
SERENDIPITY: Good Luck and How to Get It
DRUG USE: Is Getting High an American Right?
POST CORONA: Predicting the Future With Scott Galloway
Season 3: New Ideas, Same Great Taste
LET’S BE REASONABLE: Sam Harris and Rufus in Conversation
MIND GAMES: What Poker Can Teach Us About Luck, Skill, and Ourselves
TRANSCENDENCE: Finding Fulfillment Beyond Ourselves
HUMANKIND: Finding Hope in Human History
MIGRATION: Why Human Beings Were Built to Move
BREATH: Harnessing the Power of a Lost Art
PERSUASION: How to Change People’s Minds
ALCHEMY: How Our Creations Recreate Us
UPSTREAM: Solving Problems Before They Happen
CIVILIZATION: Recalculating the Price of Progress
TOGETHER: A Doctor’s Prescription for Health and Happiness
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