The Truth About Guilt

2025-09-22

Guilt is something so many of us wrestle with, especially in our relationships.For a long time, I thought guilt was useless because it’s tied to the past.But now I see it differently.There’s healthy guilt—the kind that nudges us to make amends, apologize, or do better next time—and that can help us grow.Then there’s unhealthy guilt, the kind that has us taking responsibility for things we can’t control, beating ourselves up, or carrying shame for decades.Healthy guilt reminds us our moral compa...

Guilt is something so many of us wrestle with, especially in our relationships.

For a long time, I thought guilt was useless because it’s tied to the past.

But now I see it differently.

There’s healthy guilt—the kind that nudges us to make amends, apologize, or do better next time—and that can help us grow.

Then there’s unhealthy guilt, the kind that has us taking responsibility for things we can’t control, beating ourselves up, or carrying shame for decades.

Healthy guilt reminds us our moral compass still works.

Unhealthy guilt keeps us stuck and robs us of peace.

The real work is learning the difference, setting boundaries, and remembering that we’re human—always learning, always doing the best we can.

Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer?

Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

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