196. Are kids lazy—or just lacking a plan?

Kids aren’t defiant, lazy, or unmotivated—they’re often stuck without the tools to follow through.

In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline digs into what self-regulation actually means, how it connects to goal-directed behaviour, and what adults can do to guide kids without falling into the nagging trap.

Dr. Caroline breaks down the executive function skills kids need to stay focused, manage frustration, and follow through—whether it’s brushing teeth or finishing homework. You’ll learn how to make expectations visible, teach kids to plan backwards, and create visual guides, flowcharts, and self-talk strategies that stick.

This just may be the reset you didn’t know you needed.

Homework Ideas

Create a Visual Goal Planner

Pick one goal (e.g., be ready for school by 8:15 AM). Work together to break it down into small, concrete steps. Use backward planning to identify each task. Start from the last step and work backward to the first then create a visual flowchart or checklist with images or icons.

✅ Optional: If you want to help build time management as well, have them predict how long each step will take and write how long it actually takes.

Tip: Take photos of each step and use them to create a visual guide.

Step What needs to happen? Predicted time Actual time

Develop Self-Coaching Scripts

Help kids create their own inner coach with motivational phrases to stay focused and keep going. Brainstorm 3–5 short self-coaching phrases when things get hard. Frame them as “I can…” or “When I feel ___, I can ___.” You can use the prompts below to help them come up with their own helpful phrases.

I can...

Example: I can do one small thing right now.

When I feel frustrated, I can...

Example: Ask for help.

When I feel like giving up, I can remind myself...

Example: I’ve done hard things before.

Create your own:

1. __________________________________________

2. __________________________________________

3. __________________________________________

4. __________________________________________

5. __________________________________________

Post these scripts somewhere visible—on a binder, wall, or mirror—for easy reminders

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Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/