Episode 69 (Nice): Truly Outrageous: A Jem Fan Film!

The day has arrived, dear listeners: you have finally graduated from jembryo status and risen to the esteemed rank of jemologists. We have finished our coverage (and earnest study of) the Jem and the Holograms TV show, released our brutal takedown of the eyeball-gougingly bad Hollywood-produced Jem movie, and now we are casting our holy gaze towards Truly Outrageous: A Jem Fan Film!

The fan movie succeeds in all of the areas in which the hollywood film failed: Eric Raymond is a coked up businessMAN who is a gay slut on the DL; Synergy is the jazzercise ghost mom we’ve grown to know and love; Kimber and Stormer are in lesbians; Jerrica wears shitty hats; and, most importantly, this universe is set in the 80s where it belongs! If we were to make our own Jem movie, it’s hard to find ways we’d change it (you know, aside from casting a bunch of drag queens).

As we’ve said before, it’s hard to say goodbye (which is why this has been the longest goodbye in the herstory of the eyeballverse), but what is a goodbye if not a hello? That made no sense, but what I’m getting at here is that this is not the last of the Jem Girls, but merely the beginning of a new journey. So we will see you on the other side!

Until next time, stay outrageous!