Understanding your pain and why you should meditate #31

"Follow your heart" by Lara Waldman #31

Tagline: "Trust in yourself, trust in your heart & trust your inner knowing."

An abundance activator, a manifestation expert, a healer and author, Lara Waldman speaks of the importance of slowing down. Knowing that we never truly arrive at our destination and having suffered with trauma growing up due to her mother leaving, she has had to learn about balancing her spiritual, mental, emotional and physical well-being.

Lara explains the areas in our lives that we may struggle in and need to acknowledge. She also speaks about finding the purpose of our pain and seeing this as a gift. She explains the importance of understanding your mind and ego and finding the real true goals you need to achieve to become more successful.

Some key discussion points:

1. The importance of meditation
2. Finding balance spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically
3. Finding the gift in the purpose of our pain
4. Understanding true priorities
5. Achieving true success

Thanks for listening

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Website: https://larawaldman.com/about-2/

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Pippa Transcript:

welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of fine your voice my name is iron and as always I am the host of the show today I am delighted to be up to bring to you Lara Waldman he is a well known and but does activate now in case anyone is familiar with those times it would all be explained in this episode he's been a coach now for many years she's been here for fifteen years she's a or that she's a manifestation express this lady's fascinate but more importantly she gives us tangible takeaways in this episode that we can really start to take away a start to change our lives today now this also became a bit of a counseling session for myself right now a lot of areas in my life that's still needed growth is still needed me to really work on myself but again I'm here to show my oven abilities with yourselves this is Jenny this is about finding my own voice is about writing my own story and hopefully it helps you guys do the same he says some incredible things about how we call an escape past selves she also spoke of the importance of having a balance between you emotional spiritual and physical self and then she touched on something that I think we can all resonate with which is that we never truly arrive so we have all these goals will these designs of we will be happy when when is when do we ever truly arrive at the destination the chances are not because of this as you start to grow when you go through this process you can always change of visions your priorities and everything kind of either evolves grows %HESITATION sometimes it could even supposed diminish so it was a fascinating conversation she somebody who loves to talk and have deep meaningful conversations I love a lot myself we had a fascinating conversation is somebody I'm gonna be keeping in touch with offline as well I encourage or too far ahead Jenny on Instagram and also join us over on the Instagram page as well it is growing knack nicely and I do like to try and engage in order of our listeners and one of our guests so guys but not for the reduced let's get this interview on the way okay fantastic I'd like to start by welcoming lar to the show today and thanking him for taking time out of a day in sharing her story with the soldiers are how you doing today Hey it's really great to connect with you I actually love talking not really here today fantastic what talking is definitely a good stop because that's what we're gonna do a hopefully for the next hour and I want to know a little bit more about yourself Lara and I want to know a lot about your story and I'm sure the audience do as well so if you wouldn't mind could you kind of give us a bit about yourself your summary of what kind of I suppose brings you to where you are today well it's a sort of a long story I'm sorry I was born and raised in Vancouver Canada I now live in London England %HESITATION I had we had a really amazing upbringing on the outside everything looks perfect we wouldn't were sailing in the summer as skiing in Whistler and winters we had %HESITATION this what looked like really kind of perfect happy family and in some ways on the physical level everything was great but turns out things weren't so great underneath that %HESITATION when I was twelve my my god mother my mom's best friend committed suicide and this put a bomb into our family it basically expose everything that had been hit in our deny age covered up on the emotional level within our family unit so this really took my mom into a very very difficult and dark place and she ended up leaving when I was fourteen there was a lot of emotional on rest so we went from this kind of what seem obvious I was a child right but seems to picture perfect %HESITATION situation to it went went very dark and then it just it seems like everything just goes dark in my memory and my parents it was but I had to sell our home and there is a lot of %HESITATION unrest there's a lot of traumatic experiences in that time and I went into a really tough girl kind of big front I don't care self destruction am I really gently thought and care %HESITATION super strong but I'm also very armors and %HESITATION when I was but I think sixteen seventeen I was just exhausted all the time in which the doctor she said I think you have depression and I was like what I didn't think I'd depression number getting on the scales and I weighed way more than I'd ever waited always very slim person and this is a start then of my eating disorders so I basically just starve myself an exercise like crazy and and really within a very dark place of self hate and trying to be something or becomes something that I wasn't this went on for a long time but %HESITATION I would then went to university excesses were everyone did in my in my community went there route just felt really done everyone was partying and and I was just right down to the rowing team and I was up at five in the morning just like in the gym in the afternoon just focus focus push myself really hard but really low in retrospect and I don't know exactly the moment this happened but suddenly %HESITATION I think I went to this meditation classes had never tried my life it's kind of weird I didn't really understand it the RIAA ways %HESITATION this vision or this feeling came in to me and I had this vision where I saw myself speaking to an international audience as being interviewed and I was speaking about the fact that we as human beings we have the power to consciously create our life we are way more powerful than we realize and I don't know where this came from because this is not what I was really thinking about %HESITATION speaking about at the time it just came as decision so all I thought oh my gosh I'm so screen actress that is my purpose so I quit university and I followed I went to like to study lots acting as working in restaurants and a study as much as I could and then I got this next inspiration was to go to London England and go to theater school %HESITATION and be trained as a theatre actor so I I flew up over to London ended my relationship just following this sort of what I would call now my intuition of my inner guidance system but I didn't really know that's what it was time and it took me to to consider school to come to London and and my plan was to go to two years Sears school and then come back to Vancouver and start my very successful acting career but life different plans for me so I %HESITATION after you're being in England which is very again it was quite dark time it was quite I was very lonely and it was I was working really hard working full time studying full time but it was challenging time I then met my now husband I am twenty two at a time this guy was super peaceful super calm I was real love at first sight kind of experience and %HESITATION he meditated he meditated twice a day how god statistician bring so I have this sense that I needs to to meditate but I had really huge resistance to wonder forced myself I hated it the screen to my chair but I made myself sit for twenty minutes and I for some reason just knew I had to keep going at it so I sat with it and then after not very long when I saw it long enough eventually I would have these amazing feelings of peace and that I guess got me hooked wow that is amazing feeling and then not long after that something very strange happened to me where I was at my eyes closed and then out of nowhere I in my mind's eye I saw in front of my %HESITATION if front of me and I heard the sun flashing lights you are a healer and I heard in my ears as well and I it was I just remember collapsing on the bed and fled to tears and sobbed and sobbed because I knew I was going to be an actress in that moment and I knew that my whole life is about to change and I was so upset I was devastated are you said a remember saying okay universe I don't know what this is but you bring it to me I'm not looking for I was super pissed and very soon I stuff across the ceiling course and then I will I remember going on this course it was again I think I was really tapped into this inner guidance but I didn't really know if that's what it was but it was leading before something was pushing me for what I meant that first course the healing course and I just knew that this is my future and then I started to discover all of the stuff I've been struggling with physically had been struggling with health problems emotionally I've been struggling I just felt I had all the time also in my body and realize that there was a whole other world that I don't understand which is kind of emotional aspect in that entered energies as well all this drama I've been through I had no idea how much it affected me and then I really start this journey of healing and releasing on an emotional level in our minds level and my body and my I really start to heal this this physical health problems I've been experiencing emotional imbalances really started to shift and it was incredible and then I just I've been on that path for over twenty for twenty years now %HESITATION but but fast forward I ended up %HESITATION getting pregnant as twenty six which was a surprise but I again I knew this this was the right thing and I I have two beautiful daughters now and what happened was is then I I'd have to sort of big vision right is big vision to help the world speak to the world and then at this point my life I was stuck at home with two little kids which I love being a mom but we had no money we are really broke and I felt really for stocking frustrated really limited and then I started to %HESITATION in meditation is when I meditate I %HESITATION I developed or start to understand that I was getting messages I was getting what I call inner guidance or call channeling depending what you want to call and I started getting these messages but I had never occurred to me to to ask what money before so I started asking questions about money before that I've been working our health and healing emotional balance I was also you know really fashion is what happened to my mom like why did everything go so bad and so dark and so I really was super fascinated in the unconscious %HESITATION and how our unconscious self effects are current reality but I had never looked at money so then I started on this really big journey around understanding about money in my relationship with money and what is going on with that and what I realize is I'd actually because I grew up with money but light you know things didn't work you know the people weren't happy and so I rejected it I rejected that whole scene I rejected kind of the physical world you know of of like physical %HESITATION I guess physical successor physical objects because I saw that that wasn't really making people happy and then I was going into the heart and the soul and Kirk Hanson this is what makes people happy we can't be happy if we're not happy on the inside right but then this whole next for chapter of my life is about finding the balance between the spiritual emotional mental and physical but how we can how we can thrive and feel good in all areas of our lives because what I learned is if we're like I was at that point very spiritually rich in a mostly rich and I had all this powerful information on this kind of energy level but because but don't have any money meant we're really limited in the physical world also equally people can be very wealthy they can have physical money and wealth and physical things but be completely bankrupts emotionally spiritually and we're not happy unless we have some kind of balance in all areas of our life so now my thing is right ugh we create a life of abundance all in all areas of our lives because if one part of the system is broken if you're not gonna feel good you're not gonna feel a sense of success in the film and purpose so we're so there are quite a lot of areas that we need to take care of but this is what was so my work now is about really living abundance how can we live I create a life of true abundance which includes all areas of life we don't have to reject anything we don't have to reject money reject Leviton project health we can include all of this why are that sprint now what an incredible journey live so that resonated with me on on quite Hugh Scott let's see because office so you know how you you said you mentioned during situation %HESITATION with the address of the actress feeling you lot that's it what to do yeah not not so much in terms of dot now would you be an active rock I've had those moments in my life but I've never really understood him and sometimes a lot ha ha I just convince myself that's why should be doing but recently for some reason something keeps telling me I need to meditate now I look at my body and all I look after my health I try to I try to find bodies into the physical mental emotional and spiritual aspects of a of my life because I believe you need some sort of balance and I'm I'm glad that you touched on that as well but meditation is a something not the minute I'm not sure why I'm not doing it but I just thought it just kind of switch is me often think it I don't have to call a lot I'm so busy I like three jobs a day and all of it seven days a week of the tour really have time to you to meditate and it's funny because I was I think was watching Jay show he's he's he's fat is fascinating because it speaks about with them and I think he went on this most junior he mentions that if you had an extra hour day he'd meditate and I find it really ought but then also there's obviously some beauty it and you just mentioned it not so I went on we just ask you on that and maybe this is more of a kind of selfish personal question but I hope they listen the home you don't meditate might take some value from it could you recommend something for say somebody like myself he you kind of I suppose pushes out or their way one the importance of meditation %HESITATION you said you had this car euphoric feeling avoid when you went for it but what stuck the face that sought is is easy just slapping on a you tube video and then maybe spend ten fifteen minutes doing that is is a good start over have you got any of this or practices that you could recommend yes so everyone's a little bit different %HESITATION I've you know coaches for lots of people in in trying to create some sort of practice where you want to stop and go within now the first thing I want to say this is great in terms of preventive medicine because stopping meditating will help to lower your stress levels lower anxieties so it's really really good on lots and lots of levels but some people really struck like myself I really struck I really had to force myself to stop so what I would say is one of the reasons why I find it's hard to stop is because we don't want to feel we don't want to feel ourselves we're not taught the value of being we're not taught the value of being in the present moment and we want to avoid the present only because status we'll have to feel our pain and we don't want to feel it but equally when we sit long enough that pain will transform it will shift and you'll start having feelings of peace of euphoria of connection it's a feeling of coming home and it's absolutely beautiful and I think once you start having that experience enough you get addicted to you start feeling good just like working out going to the gym first you know it's off when you have an exercise in the first %HESITATION pulling yourself out there but once you get into a rhythm you get addicted to it and then that it's not such hard work exactly the same what I would say is %HESITATION everyone's a little bit different I recommend starting with five minutes a day five minutes there than no minutes even two minutes is better than no minutes it's really as simple as sitting sitting in a way that's comfortable for you trying to have good posture is responsible and breathing I'm just focusing on your breath breathing in everything out within about two seconds your mind will start wondering you want to come back in this keep coming back to press connect the breath what what what happens is it gives your mind and your body a chance to filter out and process all the information triggers emotions that happened in your day or maybe your week and when you send it in your mind and your body needs time to filter through a process all of the information so it can take sometimes up to twenty minutes to find feelings of peace if you're really triggered emotionally upset it could take half an hour but five minutes is better than no minutes you'll feel a little bit calmer yeah if you just sit and breathe is so simple and is actually free but there's lots of I have I have some guided healing meditations on you too %HESITATION there's lots of %HESITATION the guided meditation sometimes book it helps you to listen to something but you can also do walking meditation so you can go out in nature and just you know listen to anything this breed bring bring yourself in the moment some people find it hard to sit still you could move you could do kind of like dancing sort of meditation you can bring it's just %HESITATION bring yourself into the present moment okay and and again there's lots and lots of benefits to it on on motional mental and physical level as well that's really interesting so one of the things I have done and thank you for sharing all of that is start to read a lot about solitude in just trying to be by myself %HESITATION and always you Steve I suppose struggle to you and maybe this is pop minds ought you to be alone so even go to a shopping center by myself or sitting in a coffee shop on myself and always fit I need to somebody else that someone I am going to the card have Ginni of just being okay by myself and I was very fortunate to have just travel to Miami with the wife and the full hour day started and we went on ventures are always wake up an hour early and I just go for a walk on occasion you put music on and just being in that moment I suppose it's easier when your out of your apartment so right now I'm sitting on hold where are where can where I live but just being in a completely different environment I did fail more peaceful so I can definitely for the thing is I know you're right I know how I know there's an advantage from it because the same with exercise always say fuck about let the feeling not like after doing exercise and send it in the shops no it's %HESITATION it's almost at the best I'm too depressed in the road so it's something that I you definitely H. anyone listening to yes this will start to minutes SO star five minutes I'll try and be accountable myself or try to post this the more the pages on this I think it is something that we will need to do and just on that if I may ask them to do you believe I'm paid above devil's advocate here don't be kinda chief violence in old areas talking physical mental emotional and spiritual or is there going to be and that's that would be maybe to accept that so maybe is going to be maybe more in June than the others good question this is my work in progress every day so I believe that %HESITATION balance isn't isn't a solid fix thing it's a constantly moving things like the weather at like the tides %HESITATION like like nature it's moving and flowing all the time the balance is there isn't one one flat line of balance bar this is again why for me this meditation is is great foundation because we need to be really listening and tuning in and being connected to our life so if there is an area where you're struggling or there is an area that is difficult it's like the universe our life is screaming at you saying this needs your attention so this is what I call the purpose of your pain is that the pain or pain in our struggle or sign post something needs our attention so it's there's always going to be challenged there's always going to be things that stretch you or challenge you bought what I like to do is if we can use those challenges consciously what we discover is there's gold in the pain there's gold in there but the it the pick the pain or the challenge or the difficulty is showing that there's something is out of balance so we we need it's it's it's work it's hard work it's not like it's not easy and anyone who you know I'm I'm I'm married I've got kids that run a business you know got a dog home there is there is lots of areas of life that need our attention so it is a false and time job but what I find is if we're listening and we're slowing and were surrendering to the moment as well getting out of the ego getting at the mine there is a flow there is a place of flow there is a current dot is was going to help you to feel in flown in harmony with your life so and I called that balance but it's she got that current is changing all the time so we have to be listening we have to be tuning in and what I've realized is that %HESITATION life is here to support us but we have to work with it which means we have to slow down enough to listen to pay attention and so it's it's not an easy it's not straight for answer but it it's a practice and I've been developing this over the last twenty years and I'm still like a constant student with all of this as well as being a teacher this and so it is is is is is just like anything whether it's like exercise or gardening or I'm keeping your house tidy it needs are constant tension nothing that makes perfect sense and I suppose once we %HESITATION in myself included going not Janie of really trying to listen to bean not mobile like you said surrender surrendering I think it definitely help low so thankful that you mention it is hard work because sometimes seven those expectations I mean all I do this from a physical standpoint in my past %HESITATION trying to cram where people want a very quick fix now where site or its not okay how many jobs in six minutes let your not many ads in six minutes and you could you could let you sit there for twenty four hours into crunches or not you're not gonna get ABS because it's so many of the faucets to health and fitness in order to get your body fat low in it in order that stuff so yeah one of the first things I would say went but I used to with the clients more on a one to one basis was before we start I need a hundred percent commitment of it not every day's gonna be great not every day is going to be how you think it's going to be but you have to put in the work so yes I suppose it probably he's just the element of myself so my subconscious the pointed often thinking this is going to be another thing to do and I'm not suppose I'm guilty of thinking it's a waste of time so I I feel like I'm in this part of my life where I need to achieve all these goals I'm neglecting probably one of the most important things like myself and I really need to maybe sit back a little bit so thank you for that you're welcome and it the thing that you search realizes whatever you're doing whatever your goals whatever you're creating you are at the center of it you are the center point of all of everything your experiences and actually when we slow down we realize a lot of the stuff that we think we're supposed to be doing this %HESITATION much mental noise there's so many distractions and actually when after I don't start my day I don't start anything until I am aligned and connected because what I realized as soon as I drop in and on my whole yeah all that on my to do list I can see if scrap barn all that stuff I thought I had to do all the pressure from the mind you know a lot of it is just noise and when we drop in and we can get really clear what is the most important thing what's going to really transform my life where my where are my true priorities because the mind in the ego can create mountains out of mole hills I'm so this kind of practice let's just call it is stopping calming down a little bit is it it it puts everything into perspective it actually makes you more successful so all I see is a is a is a foundation to success if that helps motivate you absolutely absolutely you're gonna see my on what to do some video just for kind of Billy I will let you take the advice on board so thank you for that and just actually on being aligned to connected like you just mentioned there what is your daily routine like that well that I sometimes see people saw how I live my life they'd probably be laughing at me I ice I spend a lot of time doing self care now so what happened for me was I was a super like Dr driver I was I worked out really hard I push myself really hard I was like go go go really fiery focus determine what started happening to me I'm in my early twenties with every time I went to exercise those really big and health and fitness I would get stargazer sick and it was so frustrating for I cannot tell you and that's all also the time I started meditating base my whole body was that you have to slow right down this whole pushing forcing thing is not working for you so I really learned this the hard way I I thought this whole thing kicking and screaming so this is what what I'm gonna tell you that I do now is like a twenty year like honing practice because that having babies at how does that slowed me down the holes all of life taught me how to slow right down and what I started to learn was actually the more I took care of myself the more I was in kind of slow in harmony with my body the more successes start experiencing but it's what I call true success you know not like like really this experience of feeling abandoned so I %HESITATION well now my girls are a little bit older but first as you know getting up the kids and stuff I %HESITATION walk my dog so get out in nature %HESITATION being out in nature is really really important to me I live in London so it's even more important get out in nature somewhere as a bomb in the park %HESITATION I move my body so movement and that can look in all sorts of ways but right at the moment it's walking I might do a little stretching %HESITATION I goose also in in and out phases of things like I've done a lot of yoga in the past %HESITATION sometimes go for a run with my dog but it's basically about moving the body getting the bug blood pumping and stretching so getting comfortable and food in my physical body I will come home and %HESITATION I tend to meditate in some form or another %HESITATION generous sitting sometimes I'd lie on the floor in just three days and I'm waiting for looking for this moment where I feel balance nor should alignment so if my mind is in rushing in thinking if I'm not feeling good which are I sometimes don't wake up feeling good I'm doing my prices and I till I feel that click of alignment balance and that kind of off the area is this feeling of being back in myself and my center so I spent the morning I'm finding that place of alignment moving really is essential for me and then breathing meditating %HESITATION I journal sometimes %HESITATION so %HESITATION and basically what I'm looking for that place is connecting brought to our what I call my higher self my inner guidance system which is this place that that yes feeling inside of me %HESITATION in so some to an obviously every day is a little bit different some days I have more time than others but I I create my diary my schedule so that I have a good chunk of time in the morning to do that then I get on with my day and you know having been a wonderful experience connecting with amazing people if we're doing now and then at some point in the afternoon I might notice that my energy might drop again so when I start to feel tired or stressed or overwhelmed out of flow I know that I need to stop so I will you if you were walking to my husband if I'm lying on the floor %HESITATION and I or I line the something I lie down and I read it again until I find the alignment and sometimes my boys is that you know what this is you just need to stop this idea of like Monday to Friday nine to fiver for me is not in harmony with my body and so I have burst of energy and when I have a drop in energy I know okay I need to stop if I if I'm able to so I tried to design my day and my schedule around my energy peaks and my energy tips so I I plan on my creative stuff and all that kind of action I need to live with his writing or the interviews work with clients on more my energy peak and then I'll try and clear my diary for when I have my drops on a walk my dog again Socorro nature again because he does the walking twice a day but I also I need walking towards the day so I'll get back in into sun harmony I'm I'm also in connection is really really important to me as well so every day you'll find me having some kind of deep conversation with somebody who anyone who talk to me about %HESITATION yeah I'd like to have really deep honest authentic but share conversations and that can be about the hard stuff and the wonderful staff I'll be doing that every day as well because that fuels me energizes me and I try and eat really well so I I again without think judging are hard on myself I try and really listen to my body what is a want to eat what is it want to drink and trying to really listen and %HESITATION and put things into my body also nursed nourish me so as you can see this sort of a few different angles that I come from if I don't do that I don't feel good so for me I'm highly sensitive I realized I didn't know if it was super tough president care I am highly since I actually I think human beings are all highly sensitive we've just shut down disconnected so I've learned that I have to say I want to feel good and honest thrives and when I'm doing this practices every day I am in alignment I'm striving to feel good and then my creative energy is awesome okay ideas inspirations it will feed into my business if I'm not doing that I will feel down that I might feel anxious I might feel scared you know and it can take me into dark places so for me I have to do a lot of self care to stay in that space the balance so it is not it's just a thousand happened for me accidentally it's very conscious mindful and requires time absolutely %HESITATION I mean I just love that has so insurance have you all with yourself but I guess that comes on to you the kind of twenty years of experience yes but you've been doing nothing again a lot we to turn it into your wanted not because of so many things to do what I lease we we have all this noise telling us that we have so much to do so so seeing that we don't work with that way I can so I think once we can set the expectation that it is going to take time I don't suppose a bit like if I use the gym analogy self with myself in order for me to you for example increased lightweight sifted or other bit of muscle it would take me generally eighteen months but I've kind of got used to that because I've been doing it for eight nine years now I'm used to the process and I love the process and I I get a good feeling from it so I think as long as I can kind of transform that into this you know send you help and I just wanna touch on you mentioned you were highly sensitive so I can also unfair but my wonder Billy I'm probably one of the most emotional guys you'll probably be this yeah in terms of the fact that my wife calls me wifey well I would actually I mean I could watch expect that somebody goes through and I'm just in case I'm so happy for it and sometimes I don't even know who this person is and I'm just boring on the other side and right sometimes up I feel a bit I used to get embarrassed by a wide wide what I get so emotional or get like a frog in my throat like you know when you when you call me the words and my voice would drop in and one for dole straight away the %HESITATION over sensitive but could I just want to touch on another thing as well I think we're in a space especially on social media where the the grind to the whole so it's kind of like a cool thing to do our E. that's what twenty four hours a day I mean the first thing out of the committee to use you know what seven days a week a trial because many hours a day I don't really have time to stop and I've seen the examples of people doing that and then the TV may be among the tree as successful some financial gain but then the set of a failed exactly yeah and I think this is a really important lesson one not just for myself but for anyone out then I who's almost damaging themselves I in some in terms of that imbalance to just have it covered look back and see what true success is like you touched on it which I thought was view for the way you said that so thank you for that is really liked it and I I would say this and I said it before the start of this episode I feel so fortunate because I have this time with amazing guess let your software I'm just get it not one to one the best coaching the vote so great for me because it is sixty minutes and %HESITATION I really enjoyed hopefully the listeners will gain something from this is awesome thank you are for sharing or not I really do appreciate it US my greatest pleasure and and I and thanks for sharing your vulnerability to because you know men are just as sensitive as women this I you know I just think there's just so much so many lies that we've been souls and we just need to get back in connection with our self and understand how we are in night I didn't realize a sense of I was either I'm highly since it highly emotional %HESITATION and I realize it's a beautiful saying if we can flow with it you know it's when it gets out of balance it can be really destructive and really problematic but it's a gift but it's like learning how to use that gift because if you're really sensitive but not honoring your sensitivity it can be really destructive and that's what I learned and and I to be honest I've learned a lot of the stuff the hard way I'm if I start pushing or trying to create some is not and so it myself other get scarecrow like something that will happen is I think it slam dunked so I've I think dot and again like also I've achieved lots of things and I had all these goals and I thought that's what I wanted and then I got it and I felt empty I thought nothing so that's when I started getting really curious like right what what is actually doing here but we need to be all areas need nurturing but we have to remember like the core of it because this is what I learn also with exercising working out and like push myself to her with health I was like probably the healthiest like person you will ever meet but I wasn't mentally healthy so it was like no matter what I achieved was never good enough is never enough never enough and it's like feeding this hungry ghost and so what I started to realize is we have to get to the core of who we are so that whatever we're doing is gonna bring true fulfillment and that sometimes means you know slowing down because what whatever we think we want isn't necessarily what we truly want it might be a next step will not talk but it's often something deeper so as long as we're bringing in that death whatever we do will be nurturing but affirmed in for not really bringing in that kind of deeper part of ourselves nothing we do is going to bring a strip of film is just get next next next like an addict so this is why it's so important and then we can really thrive and we can really enjoy life because I think what's the point what's the point of being here for not enjoying this experience absolutely absurd I I I think I said the same thing in in a post this morning I was not even those fortunate huge live the longest life is still very short for them and we really need to put that into perspective a maybe I mean one of the purposes of the show is always like to talk about phase two which is what we're going to next because it's it's an adverse T. where I suppose if I cook for a few weeks but we think okay life is short let me let me thank all the people who have helped me let me show love to those close to me and it may just be great for the moment but then all of a sudden two three weeks pass and then you kind of back into the rat race and you'll get to routine you forget everything so I am very blessed because this part because as almost made me be grateful six six days a week was before grad she was never part of my daily routine so say the center helps me so yeah this fantastic point and if we do move over to the best of it and you spoke briefly about deep connection a conversation let's talk about the hard stuff if you wouldn't mind let's let's get you renewed shows refueled eyes you stay if I'd like to know a time of just a time when you face grade fifty and more importantly how you persevere through and the less is that it for you if you could share that with myself and this is I think a big great value so obviously life I you know I'm one forty one now so I've had lots of you know knocks and challenges of little mini ones but I feel I feel the core thing maybe this is maybe is getting too deep I don't know but the core thing for me this run through everything was what I would say with the trauma from my childhood and that no matter what I've done his name like I can't you can't escape yourself so what I realize a lot of my goals in my dreams when I've been pushing towards is actually been in a way to trying to skate this trauma trying to skate this pain and I realize that there's no escaping ourselves so in a way what what I realize is that all of my goals an element of trying to expand beyond you know trying to two almost to create a New World for myself and every time I try to kind of grown expands and I felt like I kept running slammed back down again and again and again and what I realize is because I had to get right down to the deep core of myself my trauma my pain and go in and transform it from like the inside out in order to truly like to truly expand into a desire I'm so it's not one thing it's many many things but there is this fundamental core wound within myself which came you know you know and and lesser it's not her fault but cut comes from this relationship with my mom and because of you know her pain and trauma both my parents again trauma which almost everyone does what human being has an experience pain trauma what I call ancestral trauma trauma that gets passed down from generation to generation to generation and so what I experienced was this feeling of like because of my parents trauma I didn't feel loved I didn't feel like who I was was it knowledge or values out a good enough so I felt bad I felt like I'm a bad person something about me is bad something about me is disgusting something about me as a wrong and I've been on this kind of missions trying grow out of this feeling feeling bad a not good enough and I didn't know that that's what was running me consciously when I was younger but now I can see that's what it was and it wasn't because you know my parents did anything wrong it's just that because of their stuff they couldn't really give me the kind of love and support and nurturing that I needed so I felt kind of abandoned neglected emotionally speaking spiritually speaking and it's so so the only time I fell all right was one of the cheating in sport because I was really good at sport and then I'd get could us then I'd get maybe comfort I I I yes so it was so I feel for me like this journey last twenty years has been about really finally learning how to love and take care of like really value who I am last four and see who I am I know the actually there's nothing wrong with me on the deepest level of my being but it's been a really long journey to really get that because you can know something intellectually conceptually but it's about really knowing it deep within yourself that who I am as okay now and so this is been obviously and might as a healer us I've been trying to give the out to everybody else I was like I'm gonna give it to you and get you and help you feel okay and I'm gonna see you and love you and witness you but I wasn't really doing it for myself so this has been my biggest thing and then finally like obviously it's a work in progress right it's not like you land what I've learned about life is there's no you never Rive never arrive to the space where I know I was trying to rob us to find you know finally when I get there then I'll be okay then everything will be fine and that I realize now living you know like forty plus years now my yeah there's no arriving there is no end point there is you know you when you reach your goal may do the they'll be another one so for me it's been realizing that like fundamentally I'm okay %HESITATION and really knowing kind it's almost like the parts of me that I thought were bad I actually realized my guess and the thought this the president about America she was really good about me they just weren't hello they were acknowledged they were witnessed so they just went into the underground the underworld of the shadow and so I would say like for me this is been my biggest thing to overcome and I'm still working with that %HESITATION but I feel like there's been some really fundamental shifts and now it just changes the way that I do everything it changes the way that I move through life in a way that I create my business the way that I show up %HESITATION so rather than trying to think before I was like running into chase someone was chasing something in chasing a gone chasing a dream but I I kept on being slammed back and was like what is this why is it so hard because you can we cannot we have to move forward with all all of us no we had we life will not let us leave any part of us behind so is so this I would say I I hope that makes some sort of sense with your question but for me that's my biggest my biggest thing and I know I'm really really passionate now about the Buck stops with me like I do not want to pass on this and so what I would conceptualization my kids to future generations I want to shift is D. with these deep wounds is steep paying the state census of separation and abuse so much abuse that's been going that goes on everywhere and I really my big passion is like if I can stop that within myself and I can support other people's like just to transform a few people's lives DOT skin it then recall out into future generations and that that is my big passion I do what I do I'm like this is not going further the LAR las that's probably one of the most interesting responses about you have a head to this question it's %HESITATION it's fascinating and as you were saying that I was visiting so much with that I think your children on a fantastic place because the grandmother was so much where to send your gonna bring them so much more of the stuff that maybe you didn't have to know for your own of your parents and I think that they'll be blessed to obviously have your wisdom around that and there was one other thing you said which was you called escape yourself and I just saw this fantastic actually made that bold on my page here because we have to you well I selves faced you know this is the purpose of the show because for twenty four hours a day every single day until our last day but with ourselves so we can help we can love our parents because of our kids because of us prices as much as possible but when they're not there is just is just out of the woods yeah even myself when I struggle I have friends I can confide in but then double my friendly's my side %HESITATION my wife is my site it's just me and unless I'm not fixing myself and realizing because you again into the point you said we're not broken we just I suppose we just rebuilding Justin about strong enough I'm always trying to cut it so I thought that was one of the the one I keep were the best senses anyone's ever given me because it's something I can relate to I think it is definitely deep in us I think sometimes we need to look a little bit deeper robin just hit a generic stuff so I really appreciate you sharing that if I may off the back of that just ask you something a little bit personal please feel free to say you don't answer that's absolutely fine but you mentioned your mom again and that's probably where the trial the stock from with your childhood have you truly forgiven your ball but do you still hold any resentment towards a I have truly forgiven my mom %HESITATION I still I think with me I long for true authentic connection which means that whoever is in communication the also needs to be able to be authentic and I think it's really hard for some people to be that self honest because to be honest with yourself you have to feel everything and you know it's a generational thing their generation is just not equipped to feel on that level so I also have to for me it's not accepting just acceptance of yeah here she is and where she's in honoring her past and her journey and it's different very different from mine so for me it's been about acceptance forget forgiveness is part of it but it was about it it was about acceptance and like I was trying sometimes my mission to heal in transforming changes meant that I haven't you know accepted I heard the situation how it how it is and I because I wanted things to be better and I can see it could be better could be better you know this call is pushed pushing again I'm and partly that's good that's good for a person who really wants to grow and evolve but for someone who's just like I just want to be me in this moment %HESITATION so that's been one of my biggest learnings particular relations my mom is just like this that letter be more women yeah but I'm on a very different mission %HESITATION so so yes I would say it for you absolutely forgiveness is there but now my practice is just really acceptance of Santos the north and I think that's a great lesson for anyone listed is that not everybody will have the same dreams goals aspirations or the desire to grow hi yes I. freezes you are and myself and it was very frustrating for me when I have family members and friends who I want to see do just as well as minnows that come along with the security of light south developments operation nine out of ten of a lot actually I'm just fine where I am and I could never understand and used to frustrate me I'm almost to the point where you're trying to get into the head and understand their logic and not in itself would drive you crazy and yeah I did find just accepting the way that they are because of their own belief system and just whatever they desire was just so much easier for myself and then on though let's just work on myself and maybe one day I can inspire them to maybe think Hey I want the couple cool just trying to enhance my life because I suppose sometimes I'll say and I think ignorance is bliss like before I went on the self development JD lysosomal simply was that's what Monday to Friday and let's get drunk on a Friday night cover the Senate and about to break where is now but body myself on all these layers of my life but at the same time I truly enjoy like I I love what I do I love the whole landing on the government so much in just this last fifty minutes for yourself that note notebook would really give me because it's just been a an authentic people conversation so I want people to kind of fill how long feeding now but again like you said something he stopped except not everyone's may be ready for it in this metallic time yeah so yeah I'm and I would ask you another question and if I if I may and this one is you're in well I would consider not a very good place or at least in a place where you can kind of rely on yourself and maybe make yourself more violence but I want to ask you what's your biggest fear right now in this moment sure it's interesting I think one of my biggest fear is being alone and I mean suffering I I think having like a painful death is also something that scares me I don't mind dying I'm at peace the dying I just don't want pain %HESITATION but being being alone so I realize that connection really deep heart center doesn't the connection fuels me deeply so yeah I think being being totally alone is my answer to that one and and that's being alone from I'm assuming people not in terms of your practice of started chewed or anything like that no because I need that now and I I've I realize that but I I I used to hate I used to run a mile from being alone in anyway and yeah me too big being alone lead you know see because you can be around people and you can there can be a business you can still feel alone yeah at a lonely and that that is something that I've experienced a lot in my life and the I've realized because I need to sort of do get exam to feel to feel yet to see a connection with people %HESITATION so yeah I think being loaned me is probably %HESITATION yes the idea of like a sometimes a sinking gosh if I get old you know no no friends so there's no family and I'm all alone you know that I think is one of the worst things a nice I there's so many people that feel so alone in this world was so many billions of people in it kind of breaks my heart so I feel like I'm also kind of is my fear and then also motivates me to do something about that like how can we shift this alone academic that seems to be on this plan of so many people so so I take my fears and then on the rights what can we do you know that it inspires me to take action and do something I think you touched or someone at a program for you which is low enough so in my last life as a social worker I became aware of the statistics of people suffering and I went in the auto sector and the amount of I does who you I would go visit for Caro just to see how they're doing I was heart breaking with the had no family or friends and and it really did make me feel grateful for this the simple things the ability to just pick up the phone and have a conversation with someone because loneliness is it so it is side it's horrible and I don't wish on anyone and it is actually something that hopefully I can announce to the next maybe years so I'm trying to do more for mental health is trying to create a social enterprise where they're gonna with the money that we raise from the business we're gonna donated to open like day centers and night centers for people who are struggling in isolation %HESITATION just to kind of give a a safe haven where there's no stigma attached to suffer with a mental health to come into a safe place and not be alone basically because through my experience I believe it was a movement often have an informative folk with quite a few people there would say the one thing that they'd want is just someone to talk to without without the fear of judgment and just not be that long because I think they feel like they are unknown and they stroking had swiped like I said with this show is to show people that your problem is an exclusive to you there are diss identifica will connect and we just try to support each other we can hopefully %HESITATION have a have a have a happier life basically all that so beautiful absolutely and and what I've learned because I'm so I've you know supported many many people now over the years is that if you're struggling with something there there is someone else who's struggling the same thing like we're not alone and this is the things also I feel passionate speaking openly authentically to help other people realize you're not the only ones struggling you know yeah and so I think it's beautiful I love your vision thank you thank you we are not you are they going to going to the faux pas the shows are you ready yes okay three two one if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be poverty your favorite beer I TA your biggest role model Oprah Winfrey what would you like to be remembered for love your biggest goal this year Christian because because this year to find where we want to let you waste mistake not appreciating every moment of my girls and they were little if you could relive one day again what they would it be when my girls are for like two and five when they're little day whenever that all the ability to fly it will be visible fly the number one thing that I'm doing easy dishonesty money or fame money your proudest moment giving birth to my girls your favorite food Indian would you rather speak four languages we'll be able to speak to animals I can speak to okay this is an old or languages eight yeah if you had an extra hour a day how would you spend it walking with my husband if you could sit with one person in the world for an hour he would it be dead or alive once the Oprah Winfrey we're at the end of the %HESITATION quick fire round how did you find that that was fun good stuff good stuff okay I'm really interested about the %HESITATION speaking with animals so of dust if your conversation for the day not as fascinated us of doctor do those stuff there so I always wanted to be a vet that was my I've always been obsessed with animals and loves loves them okay but it will almost certainly at the end of the show nine Lara so just a couple more questions if I may the next one is about reflection some of them believe that hindsight is a wonderful thing because I was the upon reflection weaker yen and think of ways to get to where we are currently quicker easier over less heartache but at the same time %HESITATION so guess the journey teaches us a lot as well it's always a real belief of mine that everything kind of happens for a reason so knowing exactly what you know now I with all your knowledge and we always them if you could go back to maybe younger Lara maybe when you were fourteen and your going through the the emotional trauma of the of your life and you can just whisper something in the younger Lars yeah what would you say I would say and I would tell her who she is so I would say that you are loved your very deeply loved you're beautiful person you got a beautiful heart you have a special you have special gifts and special sensitivity I would tell her all about the ways that she needs to be looked after nourish to feel okay %HESITATION it took me a long time to learn that and and talked about her lights and M. that she's fine Sir and energies and emotions really difficult and stressful and so I would just be telling her soothing loving things in her ear speak for us before I'm sure you probably say these kind of things not to do is you're going to just be such a bad emotional space front of which is %HESITATION which is fantastic and I suppose the lesson tortoises off I hope so yeah I'm sure you do great and that she does I believe this to the last question and the last question I always like trust my guess is about legacy so if in a hundred fifty years time science fails to save us and all that exists is a book and this book is about you and it tells us all the way in a wonderful things that you've done in life and everything up by you firstly what with the title of the book B. and second what the Blair about the back tell us about you the title would be follow your heart and it's interesting you know I think the things that I'd want to be your remember for as the kindness and love which is interesting right is it almost like I want this sort of essence be there but %HESITATION you know my my desires are you know touching touching millions of people's lives and %HESITATION making an impact inspiring people to trust in themselves trust in their heart dressed in their inner knowing %HESITATION and I hope to make the path easier for people so somehow that by me doing my part of my life Ives somehow clear that path a bit making a little bit easier to walk for future generations something along those lines nothing must be for this view for some reason I mean you definitely made my life easy just in this very brief conversation I'm excited to kind of funny you Jenny moving forward because you've got twenty years experience so for us to be able to just latch on to that and almost kinda get a bit of a head start and then go through the process with you it's fascinating I think calling this and love are two you know the most be for things that we we all should whether it's natural what do we have to learn it just just landed because it will it's going to be in such a better place and finally just on that and following your journey which I really want to encourage every person that listens to the show and all was said to be doing it myself is how can we follow you and how can we connect with you if that's okay with yourself while the best platforms well I love connecting I realized something that motivates me more than anything %HESITATION so I'm on you too if you put in Lara Waldman abundance activator %HESITATION I'm on Facebook if you can larva of an abundance activator I'm on Instagram Lara Waldman official and my website is Lara Waldman dot com and if you want to reach I've got a contact form on the website they're fantastic what I will do is pull or those with the actual links in the show notes so anyway listen to this episode it you just go to the show notes and click it directly and get in touch with you well obviously be promoted on ward aspects of social media are I just wanna say once again thank you so much for your time in order your knowledge that you've lasted so with today and I want to thank everyone at home thank you for listening thank you so much for having me it's been a great pleasure and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day

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