The EXTRAORDINARY Family Life Podcast
Kids & Family:Parenting
In this episode, it seems as though we start talking about one subject and end with another. Yet, they are connected.
We begin discussing how to deal with children who are ‘high spirited’ with minds of their own (which can sometimes be aggravating or embarrassing) and who grow up feeling ‘not good enough’ or as though there’s something wrong with them because of the constant correction they receive.
We also mention the ‘quiet’, ‘good’ kids that ‘go along to get along’ but who internally might be (unconsciously) building resentment to the arbitrary rules and restrictions of their parents (which often leads to some sort of rebellion or rejection of values when they become adults).
Both types of kids struggle because of the (often arbitrary) rules their parents and/or society have for them. Out of the best intentions, parents create rules for their family life so that children can be safe, they can have high standards and values, and some sort of order and control can be maintained. The rules are often communicated in a black-and-white way — we never eat in the living room, we never stand on the table, we never listen to pop music, we never swear, we never stay out past midnight, we never watch rated R movies, we never lie, etc.
But the reality is, this black-and-white approach has long-term detrimental consequences for your relationship with your child, their critical thinking skills, and their ability to make decisions. That’s because life is rarely black and white. There are variables, nuances, and levels to all parts of our reality.
We end the episode by expounding on how allowing your children to ‘talk back’ and to argue/debate with you in an effort to persuade you to their point of view is a GOOD thing. Your rules are NOT black and white and kids (as well as parents) often intuitively feel this, they just can’t articulate it.
This is where ‘parenting relativism’ is required. And while that sounds bad or dangerous to some, it is actually an effective approach that helps us help our children to navigate the complexities of the world around us and life in general.
At the outset, the approach we outline in this episode seems like more work and thought, and effort on your part. But in the long run — done well — it creates WAY better results because this parenting process develops the ability to think critically, to strategically analyze, to effectively make decisions, and to confront moral dilemmas. As a bonus, it increases the trust and respect your children have for you as their parents and creates stronger life-long relationships.
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/extraordinary-family-life/message#260 How to Know What Science to Believe About What's Healthy & What's Not??
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#258 How to Prevent & Manage Overwhelm as a Parent of Young (or Old) Kids, While Pursuing BIG Dreams & Goals
#257 Practicalities of Travel as a Family, Budget Saving Tips, + How to Worldschool (No Matter Your Schooling Choice)
#256 How to Become More CAPABLE So You Can Do The Work to Achieve Your Extraordinary Life, Marriage & Family
#255 Stop Calling it 'ADHD' -- It's NOT a Disorder, It's Normal
#254 What to Do When Your Spouse is Not 'Showing Up' or Investing in Your Extraordinary Marriage/Life
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#252 "No Job for Our Teens" How We Teach a Wealth & Entrepreneur Mindset
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#250 Wokeism is a Cult that is Destroying Society
#249 Here's Why You & Your Spouse Disagree (Understanding the Values Hierarchy) PLUS Tips to Motivate Teens
#248 Can I Expect MORE from my Kids Even if my Spouse Isn't Setting an Example?
#247 What to do When You're Both INSPIRED & DEPRESSED by Listening to Our Podcast
#246 Why 'Every' Family* Should Homeschool Their Kids if They Want EXTRAORDINARY Outcomes
#245 Face & OVERCOME the (Inevitable) Obstacles to Your Family's Goals & Dreams!
#244 Make NEXT Year Your Best Yet! How to Turn Your Family Dreams into Reality
#243 Why You Don't Enjoy Parenthood As Much As You'd Hoped You Would
#242 HOW to (Enjoy) Spending More Time with Your Spouse & Kids
#241 Stop Controlling Your Kids & Instead Gain Their Love, Respect & Admiration
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