When You’re Tired of Always Being the One Who Reaches Out

Have you ever found yourself wondering, “Would anyone reach out if I stopped trying so hard?”
That quiet ache of not being chosen, not being invited, or not feeling truly seen—it’s real. And it hurts.

In this deeply personal episode, I open up about a conversation with my daughter that mirrored a theme I see not only in my clients, but in myself: the ache of wanting to belong, to be picked, to matter without effort.

We talk about:

• Why being overlooked triggers something deeper than just disappointment

• The neuroscience behind why this ache sticks with us (even when we are loved)

• The subtle ways we abandon ourselves trying to be chosen

• A simple yet powerful walkthrough to start healing this ache in real time

• How to reconnect to the part of you that’s waiting to be seen by you

This isn’t about pretending it doesn’t hurt.
It’s about learning how to stay present with the ache, how to honor what’s real, and how to come home to yourself in the moments you feel most invisible.

If you’ve been in a long season of “hard,” if you feel like you’re white-knuckling your way through connection, or if you’re simply tired of always initiating—this is for you.

Links & Resources

• Let’s connect on Instagram → @chantelallencoaching

• Learn more about coaching with me → chantelallencoaching.com

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Share it with a friend who needs the reminder that they’re already enough—and already chosen.

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