People Pleasing Is Making You Sick!

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People Pleasing is a compulsive strategy that disavows your needs and surrenders your agency. It begins in family systems that only reward compliance, which produces a false self. If your soul is constantly devalued, you may develop dependent narcissism with a covert contract: “I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me safe.” Healing comes when you identify your true experience—notice whether you feel drained, tense, or obligated versus calm, interested, or genuinely willing. Give yourself permission to pause before agreeing. Say, “I’ll think about it,” step away to check in, rate how much you do or don’t like the request, and give a clear yes/no. Say yes only when it aligns with your values and can be revised; a yes aimed at managing someone else’s mood or bolstering your self-worth is unhealthy and requires deeper work. Growth requires inner authority and the courage to be disliked so that your choices follow Psyche rather than external approval.

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