Why You Need Nonviolent Communication

You will get a lot out of Nonviolent Communication both personally and professionally. Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella believes in this book so strongly that when he was named CEO, among his first actions was to hand it out to every one of the company's executives. Read more in my blog post: The Book that Transformed Microsoft’s Culture: Nonviolent Communication. Our observations are often clouded by evaluations. The author, psychologist Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD, says that good communicators are able to separate their observations of a situation from their evaluations or judgments of it.

Nonviolent Communication is all about how to communicate with empathy. It covers four essential components of effective communication: Observing what is happening, stating how you feel, expressing how your needs are connected, and addressing what you want.

Here are three key concepts that I love: 1) We want to meet others' needs, but only when we feel we do so with autonomy. 2) Make requests, not demands. 3) Express what is alive in you and what you are really feeling: stop confusing strategies and judgments for feelings. E.g. "I feel like you don't care" is not a true feeling, it's a critical evaluation that puts someone on the defensive. 4) Request concrete actions. Figure out what you really need and request it. People appreciate clarity. Pick up the book on Amazon here: Nonviolent Communication.

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