The abrasiveness of a writing tone is determined largely by the cognitive framework held by the reader. A cognitive framework is the mentally constructed structures that guide individuals in interpreting the world. It becomes the lens through which the world is viewed. Much like a theory, a cognitive framework is used to explain facts and understand phenomena.
Some see my writing as abrasive and ill-informed. Others see my writing as non-abrasive and insightful. Regardless, to silence, dismiss, or disinvite somebody based on their perceived tone … is … well, it’s the Science of Reading.