The Guilt of Saying No: Why Boundaries Matter in Foster Parenting

If there’s one word I hear over and over again from foster moms, it’s this: guilt.

We feel guilty for not doing enough, for not being enough, for wanting rest, for saying no to one more visit, one more placement, one more request from a caseworker. And when we do say no, we often sit with the heavy weight of second-guessing ourselves: Am I letting someone down? Am I failing as a foster parent?

But here’s the truth: boundaries are not selfish — they are essential. Without them, foster parenting will eat us alive. With them, we can actually show up more fully, more consistently, and more lovingly for the children in our care.

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