RE 587: Schedule What?

Today we have Will. He is 32 years old, lives in Allenstown, NH and took his last drink on October 5th, 2019.

 

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[06:22] Paul introduces Will:

 

Will is 32 years old, lives in New Hampshire and works for the US Postal Service. Will enjoys writing, watching films, hiking and traveling. 

 

Will grew up in a strict, religious household. From middle school through high school, Will did homeschooling which left him feeling like he didn't really have any friends. By the time he was 15 or 16, he felt like he was missing out on a lot of life experiences. Will moved out of home with his brother when he turned 18 and says this is when his partying began as a way to make up for lost time.

 

Will began working in the food service industry and says it was his first taste of life outside of the religious bubble he had grown up in. While he had a level of social anxiety that kept him out of nightclubs and things of that nature, his brother enjoyed the nightlife and typically had alcohol in the house which Will would drink by himself.

 

Between the ages of 19 and 21, Will had found some friends he calls kindred spirits in that they were all creative and a little nerdy. He says his life was simple back then: go to work and then go hang out with his friends and play/watch video games while drinking.

 

At 22, Will got a DUI. This was not enough to make him feel like he needed to stop drinking but he thought he should try moderating. The financial struggles after the DUI were hard on Will and he was beginning to feel like he screwed his life up already. Between ages 22 and 24, Will references them as his rock bottom years. He was losing friends due to his behavior when he drank and felt haunted by social failures and missing opportunities.

 

Will tried going to therapy at 24 but didn't address his drinking at all. The anxiety and depression were crippling, and he began having suicidal ideations. Will tried going to AA but struggled not to focus on the things he didn't agree with. It was a TV series called Patrick Melrose that helped inspire Will to try something new. Will decided to try going to rehab.

 

Will started burning the ships with his family and the supervisory staff at his jobs so that he could plan to go to detox. He was there for nine days and says it was an amazing experience. He felt good about the decision to go and says he got a lot of out of it.

 

The cycle of starts and stops began, Will was trying to hide his drinking unsuccessfully. In this middle of this time, he had started dating someone and fell in love. They ended up moving in together. Will says the move was helpful for him, but he was still trying to drink and hide it from her. 

 

The night before a planned trip to NYC, Will drank a couple of beers, and his girlfriend could smell it on him the next morning. They talked about it on the way to their Airbnb and Will spent his first day sober walking around the city. This experience left an impression on Will, and he recognized he could have fun sober and it made him crave more life experiences.

 

Will's girlfriend was very supportive; he returned to AA meetings and got a new therapist that specialized in addiction. After several months, he began taking classes for recovery support. An internship led to a job and Will says it was life changing.

 

Since being in recovery, Will says that his depression is gone and he is better at holding himself accountable in his life. A lot has happened since he quit drinking, but he feels that all of the challenges have made him stronger.

 

Recovery Elevator

We took the elevator down.

You've got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

 

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