196: Attraction patterns, ’Control freak’, ’Emotional blackmail’

In today's show, the Drs answer the following listener questions: 1.I was married to a man for 3 years who was a recovering drug and alcohol addict.  In any case, we have recently divorced. There is another man who I have known for about 20 years. We have recently reconnected and are exploring the beginnings of a relationship.I am noticing a heavy drinking behavior in the man in the new relationship. Its hard to tell because right now we are long distance and only see each other on weekends. So am I attracted to addicts?  2. I often hear the term "control" thrown around in pop psychology and fiction. It often turns up in dialogue like one person asking why the other did something stupid or self-destructive and the answer being "I just really needed to feel in control, just for a minute". Or there is the notion that people will calm down when given (the illusion of) control.  3. I'm male, early twenties, been on a whole plant food diet for about 1,5 years. Arguments I can handle (I'm pretty disagreeable), but my family has been emotionally blackmailing me, having what amount to interventions with my mother crying, them saying I'm wasting away and will one day find myself in an ambulance. I'm 5'9 about 132 pounds. I lost about 20 pounds early on and have not lost any more for over a year. I have always had low muscle mass, even when working out -I've come to think I'm just naturally low on that bell curve. But for a year I've finally been able to do proper push-ups, pulls-ups and the like and generally feel fine. I feel distanced from my family and have come to dread spending time with them. What can I do?