31. Non-compliance Isn’t Always a Choice

Simply put, children don’t do everything we ask them to do when we ask them to do it. As adults, we often assume this is because they are not understanding what we said so we try communicating the same expectation again by repeating ourselves, sometimes in a louder and more frustrated voice. If that doesn’t work, our own frustration grows, which can stop us from remaining emotionally regulated and problem-solve what to do next.

We are never our best selves when stressed. Yet, the way we respond in the moment a child doesn’t do what we have asked them to do can do one of two things: either it creates a safe connection for the child to trust us as we align with them to solve the problem or we trigger a defense response in the child if we inadvertently disregard their need for more support.

So, what does this look like in a classroom? 

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