"Throughout all of history, it is clear that humans naturally are humble, self-sacrificial, and want to be of service to others" ...said no one, ever. That is the right heart and mindset but it must be chosen and cultivated. When we look back at our lives the things we are most proud of are not what came easily. We are most proud of what was difficult, what took sacrifice and what was in service to something bigger than ourselves. By nature, we don't want to do "hard". ...
"Throughout all of history, it is clear that humans naturally are humble, self-sacrificial, and want to be of service to others"
...said no one, ever.
That is the right heart and mindset but it must be chosen and cultivated.
When we look back at our lives the things we are most proud of are not what came easily.
We are most proud of what was difficult, what took sacrifice and what was in service to something bigger than ourselves.
By nature, we don't want to do "hard".
Easy SEEMS better in the short-term, but when we choose the hard, we look back and see a life of meaning and purpose.
As a wife, it's not easy to reject the lies that society feeds us nowadays, here are a few:
Lie - "Men and women are the same"
The problem is if we're the same then we'll expect to give and receive love the same way.
So, if a wife doesn't need sex to feel loved, she'll be bitter that her husband can't live without it.
The truth sets us free. And the truth is men and women are designed differently -- equal in value and dignity but different in the ways we receive love (among other things).
In today's episode here are a few other lies we'll go into:
Lie - Don't do things for others that you don't want to do... ever (otherwise that's oppression)
Lie - Be true to your feelings at all costs (to do otherwise is inauthentic and essentially immoral)
Lie - Stay married only if you consistently feel "in love" with your spouse (regardless of kids)
Lie - Don't push yourself toward intimacy, if you aren't spontaneously feeling it, otherwise it's oppressive and BAD BAD BAD
I'd like to clarify this last point lest you not listen to today's episode.
When I push myself towards the gym because of a doctor's wisdom, am I oppressing myself? Is the doctor oppressing me for suggesting such a gruesome and heinous encouragement that could leave me sore and in discomfort for days...
No--I'm grateful he told me the truth so I can have the results he knows I want: health and well-being. Ultimately, if I do push myself to go to the gym, I feel a LOT better once I'm there and started.
In the same way, if it is true and wise and good to go towards intimacy in marriage -- regardless of how I feel naturally -- I can change my attitude and go towards this gift that God has given. And generally with the right attitude, I'll start to enjoy it in the midst.
The beautiful part about sex is when you sacrifice your feelings and wants for the good of God's plan for your marriage, you can actually start to enjoy, love, and relish in His good gift of intimacy!
It all starts with a choice to say "Not my will, but Your will be done in my life".
Love,
Belah
PS - If you are wanting to improve your marriage and have deeper intimacy with your spouse, we would love to talk with you. Please feel free to contact us at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to schedule a free Clarity Call.
PPS - Here is a quote from one of our recent graduates:
"[Before the Delighted Wife Program], My husband and I were at the brink of complete and utter separation. We were not communicating. There was anger and yelling and volatile behavior. We were not even sleeping in the same bed, in the same room. I was feeling absolutely helpless and broken. I feared for the future and for what would happen to our family. My health was being affected and all of the struggles were really destroying both of us.”
After DW: “Through the program, I realized that first, my husband is different than I am. Second, I learned that I was not respecting, admiring, or being wholehearted in my approach to intimacy. Third, I learned that the improvement that God was effecting for our marriage needed to begin with one of us and that it was me who needed to start… I learned to see my husband through God's eyes and am determined to love him with all of his strengths and weaknesses without wanting any change but instead being grateful for all that he is in my life… All of the realizations and truths spoken by Belah and validated Biblically, helped me see the errors of my ways and how I was impacting our marriage and even the past hurts and how our marriage was heading for destruction. Delight Your Marriage opened my eyes to what the Lord has in store and has filled me with so much hope. Through the tools of the program, I have been able to see the improvements that have been affected almost miraculously. To God be the Glory!!!”
