222. Lane Moore with Angela Garbes and Lindy West: You Will Find Your People

Movies, books, and TV shows tell us we should’ve already found our people — those close, always dependable, tried-and-true forever friends — by the time we’re adults (and if we haven’t, there must be something wrong with us). But it’s often easier said than done. Where do you find close friends beyond childhood or school? Is it even possible?

Like many people navigating adulthood, Lane Moore thought she would have friends by now. Sure, Moore has plenty of casual acquaintances and people she likes hanging out with, but she wanted to find her people — the ones she lists as her emergency contact, the ones she calls when something funny or horrible happens, the ones who bring over soup over when she’s sick as she would do for them — her chosen family.

You Will Find Your People is the groundbreaking guide to making and keeping the friends we’ve all been desperately waiting for. In this follow-up to her best-selling book How to Be Alone, Moore shows us how to make real friends as an adult, cope with friend breakups, navigate friendships with coworkers, roommates, and family members, and provides real tools on how to create healthy boundaries with friends to deepen your bonds. Through hilarious personal anecdotes and hard-won wisdom, Moore teaches us how to finally work through our fears and past hurts, to bravely cultivate and maintain the lifelong friendships we deserve.

Lane Moore is an award-winning stand-up comedian, actor, author, and musician. Moore is the creator of the hit comedy show Tinder Live, and the bestselling author of How To Be Alone and the forthcoming You Will Find Your People. Moore’s writing has appeared everywhere from The New Yorker to The Onion, and she is the former sex and relationships editor at Cosmopolitan, where she received a GLAAD Award for her groundbreaking work expanding the magazine’s queer coverage. Moore is the frontperson in the band It Was Romance and lives in Brooklyn with her dog-child, Lights.

Angela Garbes is the author of Essential Labor: Mothering as Social Change, called “a landmark and a lightning storm” by the New Yorker. Essential Labor was named a Best Book of 2022 by both the New Yorker and NPR. Her first book, Like a Mother, was also an NPR Best Book of the Year as well as a finalist for the Washington State Book Award in nonfiction. Her writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The New York Times, and New York Magazine, and featured on The Daily Show with Trevor Noah and Fresh Air with Terry Gross. A first-generation Filipina American, Garbes lives with her family on Beacon Hill.

Lindy West is a former contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and is the author of Shit, Actually, the New York Times bestselling memoir Shrill, and the essay collection The Witches Are Coming. Her work has also appeared in This American Life, The Guardian, Cosmopolitan, GQ, Vulture, Jezebel, and others. She is the co-founder of the reproductive rights destigmatization campaign #ShoutYourAbortion. Lindy is a writer and executive producer on Shrill, the Hulu comedy adapted from her memoir. She co-wrote and produced the independent feature film Thin Skin.

You Will Find Your People
Third Place Books