تغییر خود یا دیگران؟👥دکتر هلاکویی

دکتر فرهنگ هلاکویی نائینی ۷۸ساله، روانشناس، روان‌درمانگر، مشاور ازدواج و خانواده، جامعه‌شناس، اقتصاددان و استاد پیشین دانشگاه

Change Others by Changing Yourself

Start where you are

In therapy, a great clinician will meet the patient where they are to build relations.

In negotiation, a great navigator will focus on their opposition and turn it into opportunity.

In relationships, a great lover will treat their spouse the way the spouse wants to be treated.

In games, a great player will adapt to a dynamic environment with the opponent's moves in mind.

It is never about changing people — it’s about changing yourself in ways to inspire people. It is about changing the approach to a conversation to learn more about the other person’s wants and needs. It is about changing you, to create a change in others.

Imagine for a moment you are living your life, and something does not go the way you want. What do you do?

Do you do the same thing again and hope for a different outcome? No. You change the approach. And if that does not work? You change again.

The popular saying attributed to Albert Einstein is that “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result,” and yet so many of us continue to sit in the same behaviors, do the same actions, and wonder why life is not changing for the better.

Can you think of a person who refuses to change and expects the world to change for them? Do you think you are that person, too?

Imagine for a moment you are — where does it take you?

Could conversations you wish have ended different pop into your head? Do actions you were unsure of and consequences you wished to avoid come to mind? What will you do differently next time?

A single person can change the world. But they must change themself to start.

You can only control your life. Do so indefinitely.

What is good, change yourself or try to change others?

firstly, change yourself, observed inane mistakes improve them, do great work, and Help others

You can’t coerce others to change, but you can show them if we do good work, how we can be a better person, that thing influences them directly or indirectly

if you change yourself, you understand what people want to change themselves

in the end, people will change if you change yourself and people get motivation from you because They trust in action, not in theory, remember that

don't try to change others change yourself