Christine (1983)

In this movie review, we take our film podcast straight into the junkyard of love, murder, and muscle cars with Christine (1983) — John Carpenter’s chrome-plated fever dream based on Stephen King’s supernatural horror novel. If you’ve ever wanted a girlfriend who needs premium gas and kills your enemies, then buddy, have we got a cult classic for you.

This week’s episode recap dives headfirst into the flaming wreckage of teenage insecurity and vehicular manslaughter. We do a full film analysis of Arnie Cunningham — your average socially awkward nerd who trades in his self-esteem for a cursed 1958 Plymouth Fury and a killer new wardrobe. Literally killer. Like, run-you-over-and-reverse-for-fun killer.

We explore Carpenter’s suspense master skills: his eerie synth score, tight pacing, and glorious practical effects (because CGI is for cowards). We also ask the important questions: Was Christine just misunderstood? Is it really toxic masculinity if your girlfriend has tailfins? Would Geico even insure this nightmare?

As Stephen King adaptations go, this one has it all: supernatural thriller vibes, a bestselling author’s signature blend of teen trauma and body count, and none of the killer clowns. (Carrie may get bloody, but Christine will run your ass down and play Buddy Holly while doing it.)

We also unpack how cult filmmaker John Carpenter builds tension like nobody else — turning drive-in nostalgia into pure, gasoline-soaked dread. Think 80s horror with a side of "what if Herbie had a death wish?"

So hop in, movie buffs, for another round of retro reviews, audio commentary, and horror breakdown mayhem. She’s got the looks that kill. Literally. And she doesn’t just break hearts — she crushes them under 4,000 pounds of possessed steel.

Warning: Listening to this episode may void your driver's license.

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