This episode is brought to you by Relay, the app that helps you find healing and make progress alongside peers who get it. Ifyou are in a group and need a resource to help you support each other every day, check out Relay! Go to www.joinrelay.app and use our promo code PV2023 to try it out for free.Welcome to episode #149! This week, Matt and Braden continue in their two part series talking to Dr. Doug Carpenter. They chat about...
This episode is brought to you by Relay, the app that helps you find healing and make progress alongside peers who get it. If
you are in a group and need a resource to help you support each other every day, check out Relay! Go to www.joinrelay.app and use our promo code PV2023 to try it out for free.
Welcome to episode #149! This week, Matt and Braden continue in their two part series talking to Dr. Doug Carpenter. They chat about his book, Secret Shame, and discuss how sexual abuse and trauma affects development in men.
Misinterpreting Abuse
Often for men who have been sexually abused in their formative years, they may not see what happened to them as abuse. Part of that may be because their abuse was framed in a way that they (the victim) feel responsible for the abuse. It also may have felt physically good, but it was not wanted and that can cause confusion. This confusion causes misinterpretation, and along with that, there may be shame surrounding the event and that creates a distancing from the abuse or a desire to not re-visit what happened.
What is Abuse?
Dr Carpenter describes abuse as something that was not wanted, something that may have unwillingly awakened sexual feelings, and something that was not nurturing. This can cause sexual confusion that reshapes what happened in the mind of the victim, and they can begin to act out of that pain in harmful ways.
Porn is a form of abuse
When we are exposed to porn, it is usually not a welcomed event, and it awakens sexual curiosity in us in our formative years. This essentially is a "raping" of our mind, and the porn industry grooms its users from an early age as it aims to create lifelong addicts and consumers. But we have a choice to get help and with God the chains of abuse and addiction can be broken, we don't have to remain a victim!
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Resources
Relay app
Dr. Doug Carpenter's website
Dr. Doug's book on male sexual abuse: Secret Shame
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Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
