#48 - Harpsicords Are Cool

If Mozart was alive today, he would be the biggest fucking rock star in the world. The dude had a severe command of melody and everyone who has made music since is blatantly ripping him off. Furthermore, every note he produced was without the luxury of a recording studio, or any way to augment the sounds other than through the clever orchestration of combining a collaboration of instrumentation, which makes his works far superior to The Beatles, Elton John and Freddie Mercury all rolled into one fat doobie. Yes, he was that good. And he crushed the harpsichord.

This was how he learned music.

And now this delight of finely crafted wooden keys and delicately tuned strings that produced unique tones of beauty and whimsy has become a distant sound to our busy ears, having been usurped in popularity by the piano nearly to the point of extinction. And that is sad.

And a mistake.

Brian Jones from the Rolling Stones was a multi-instrumentalist who played the sitar, the harmonica, and the guitar, but why not the Harpsichord? I mean, what the fuck is that instrument on the beginning of Ruby Tuesday? It’s not a harpsichord. Hold on. I just looked it up. It’s a recorder, whatever the hell that is. And the only song in which the Stones ever utilized the accentuation of a harpsichord was Play With Fire and it was performed in the studio by the assistant to the producer. What a missed opportunity.

So, why no harpsichord? Was it popular for so long that people burned out on it and said, “Fuck the harpsichord! We don’t ever want to hear it again!” Like that South Korean dude who sang Gangdam Style. Is that how you spell it? I should look that up, too.

Anyway, the Harpsichord is metal, but I guess we’ve moved on.

Kind of like the Volcano vaporizer.