#142 - How to Earn a Secure Attachment Style | George Haas (Mettagroup)

Why is a Buddhist meditation teacher trying to heal attachment styles? Aren’t Buddhists supposed to be all about non-attachment? Today's guest, George Haas, has been teaching meditation since 2000, and lately focuses primarily on preparing the path to enlightenment by resolving maladaptive responses to difficult childhood experiences.

On the show we talk about different insecure attachment styles, including anxious-preoccupied, avoidant and disorganized. We talk about what an earned secure attachment actually is and how we can get there based on Dan Brown's work with the three pillars: mentalizing, secure attachment modeling, and the ideal parent figure protocol. We explore how to love someone with a challenging attachment style and the different specific tracks for insecure and disorganized attachment styles to earn secure attachment. And finally, we look at why our attachment strategies impact not only our romantic lives, but our entire experience of the world.

George began teaching meditation in 2000. He founded Mettagroup in 2003 and became an empowered teacher through Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society, where he taught from 2007 to 2016. Along with his daily Morning Meditation and full schedule of one-on-one students, he continues to teach weekly classes and intensives in Los Angeles, and offer day-long, weekend and extended retreats around the country. He is the host of the “I Love You, Keep Going” podcast.

Links

• Mettagroup
• I Love You, Keep Going podcast
• Netherlands Retreat
• Insight Timer Attachment Repair

Timestamps

• :06 - Why does a Buddhist meditation teacher focus on healing attachment styles
• :10 - Can your attachment style change?
• :19 - How to tap into compassion for people with different attachment styles from yours
• :23 - Organized vs Disorganized attachment styles
• :30 - How avoidant people shut down
• :36 - What is an earned secure attachment
• :41 - The ideal parent figure protocol
• :45 - Mentalizing and self-regulation
• :53 - How to love someone with a challenging attachment style
• 1:00 - The tracks for different insecure and disorganized attachments styles to earn a secure attachment
• 1:08 - Why our attachment strategies impact our entire experience of the world