I had a kid in my late 30’s so while you are never truly prepared for fatherhood, I was a lot more knowledgeable of what to expect than the average southern man who impregnates the first girl to talk to him at a bonfire when he’s 19 (though lord knows I gave it a college try {or at least I think I did, I never went to college}) but recently it has dawned on me that I’m going to be among the first generation of parents that has to explain to their children the extinction of a once very common thing. Somet...
I had a kid in my late 30’s so while you are never truly prepared for fatherhood, I was a lot more knowledgeable of what to expect than the average southern man who impregnates the first girl to talk to him at a bonfire when he’s 19 (though lord knows I gave it a college try {or at least I think I did, I never went to college}) but recently it has dawned on me that I’m going to be among the first generation of parents that has to explain to their children the extinction of a once very common thing. Something from my own lifetime that has just ceased to exist. No not an animal, a fish, or some sort of godless bug with an exoskeleton made out of demon glass or something, but an emotion. The emotion of surprise.
“What was being surprised like, Papa?” My sons walking Avatar will ask me while his human body remains in the cryochamber for safe keeping during Purge Hours. I will probably struggle at first because it’s been so long since I had felt it myself. “Ok. So you know when you have your Tesla Helmet on and you’re experiencing the day’s news in 360° degree format?” His face shows excitement “oh of course, with the nano camera technology you can actually experience the mass Mosque Burnings as if you were inside them! It’s sad of course but the technology is astounding” I sip my coffee and take in what I’ve heard. I’m glad my boy is interested in Global News but not at the way he speaks of it like a film.
“Right. And what did you see yesterday” he thinks briefly “oh well there was a livestream of President Steven Crowder burning books that was sponsored by a new Canned Energy Milk and then of course the daily school shooting which the President says is just the price of admission for freedom”
“Ok” I exclaimed. “That, that right there. When I was growing up that would be surprising to us. You see, being surprised happens when something didn’t go the way you thought it would go. I still remember the very first school shooting”
“You were alive for the first one?” He asked, confused.
“Well the first one of national prominence at least. Columbine High School. We’d never seen anything like it. We were shocked. Shocked is perhaps a more aggressive form of surprise I suppose. The politicians couldn’t work together on a solution. Normal people thought we should tighten up our gun regulations, but some people blamed Marylin Manson”
“The guy who got one of his ribs removed so he could…”
“Where’d you hear about that???”
“I’m in middle school. Everyone hears that in middle school, no matter what part of the world you’re from”
“Right. I forgot. Yes, him. They blamed his music and video games and the violent culture in the media. They blamed everything except the guns. And it just kept getting worse. More school shootings. More racial violence. We saw assassinations live on television. We watched babies ripped from their mothers arms for committing the crime of wanting a better life. We saw people murdered for who they chose to love, who they chose to be. We saw child traffickers get slapped on the wrist by the same people who campaigned on protecting the children. It was shocking. We were constantly surprised every day at what we were seeing. We would think it couldn’t possibly get worse, but then it did. That’s what being surprised is, and your generation will never know what it’s like because this type of world is all you’ve ever known.”
I was on the verge of tears. Reliving all that emotion and having to convey it to my son, who no matter how hard I tried would never get to experience an innocent childhood like I had. He looked up at me with a bewildered look. Like I had broken his brain.
“Dad”
“Yes son?”
“Are the digitized scrolls we read true? Was this country truly founded on slavery by men who didn’t want to pay taxes or let women read?”
“Yes son. That is true”
“Well then why the f*** is any of this surprising?”
Damn. Good point. Never thought of it like that
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit coreyryanforrester.substack.com/subscribe
