In the second half of my conversation with author and speaker Wende Gaikema, our discussion turns to some of the most difficult and deeply personal questions parents face after the suicide of a child. (If you haven't listened to the first half of our conversation yet, please click HERE to do that!)Drawing from her own experience following the death of her 24-year-old son, Matt, Wende continues walking through the choices outlined in her book, From Heartache to Hope: Navigating the Choices in Your Suicide Loss ...
In the second half of my conversation with author and speaker Wende Gaikema, our discussion turns to some of the most difficult and deeply personal questions parents face after the suicide of a child. (If you haven't listened to the first half of our conversation yet, please click HERE to do that!)
Drawing from her own experience following the death of her 24-year-old son, Matt, Wende continues walking through the choices outlined in her book, From Heartache to Hope: Navigating the Choices in Your Suicide Loss Journey. With biblical truth, practical wisdom, and remarkable honesty, she addresses the questions that so many grieving parents quietly carry but are often afraid to ask.
Together, we discuss how to respond to shame, regret, and anger, how to navigate birthdays and holidays after loss, and why learning to "dance with a limp" can become a picture of healing. Throughout the conversation, Wende reminds us that grief changes us forever ... but it doesn't have to define us forever.
In this episode, you'll hear about:
- What Scripture actually says about suicide and salvation
- Why suicide is not the unpardonable sin
- How to respond to feelings of shame, self-blame, and regret
- Identifying and rejecting the voice of condemnation
- The importance of self-compassion after child loss
- Processing anger—including anger toward the child who died
- Understanding the "emotional shrapnel" that suicide leaves behind
- Navigating birthdays, holidays, heaven dates, and other difficult milestones
- Why every family should find its own way to remember and honor their child
- The meaning behind Wende's beautiful phrase, "Dancing with a Limp"
- How practicing gratitude can gradually shift our perspective
- Using your story to comfort others without allowing your grief to define you
One of the most encouraging themes in this episode is the reminder that God rarely gives us enough light to see the entire path ahead, but He faithfully provides enough light for the next step. As Wende shares, healing isn't about "getting over" the loss of your child. It's about learning to carry that loss with grace while continuing to live the life God still has for you.
Resources Mentioned
- From Heartache to Hope: Navigating the Choices in Your Suicide Loss Journey by Wende Gaikema
- Wende's website: https://coachwende.com
If you have lost a child to suicide, we pray this conversation reminds you that you are not alone. There is no shame in your story, no condemnation for those who are in Christ, and no grief so deep that God cannot meet you there. He is faithful to walk with you, one step at a time.
If this episode encouraged you, please consider subscribing to the podcast, leaving a review, or sharing it with another bereaved parent. Your recommendation may help another family discover hope in the midst of unimaginable loss.
I would love to hear your thoughts on the show. Click here to send me a message! (Though I read every message, I am unable to respond through this format.)
** IMPORTANT** - All views expressed by guests on this podcast are theirs alone, and may not represent the Statement of Faith and Statement of Beliefs of the While We're Waiting ministry.
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