TPP 307: Eliza Fricker Talks Parenting a Child with PDA

On today’s episode I’m talking to Eliza Fricker about PDA or pathological demand avoidance – and in fact I know many people interpret PDA as persistent desire for autonomy. I’ve done a few episodes on PDA before but never from a parent’s perspective so after reading Eliza’s book, The Family Experience of PDA, I knew I wanted to share her perspective with the Tilt community. During this episode, we talked about how demand avoidance is more extreme in a child with a PDA profile vs. the inflexibility and rigidity we might see in other neurodivergent kids, what Eliza has learned about herself parenting a child with PDA, and what her resistance was to the changes needed to her parenting style. Eliza also gave out some great tips for teachers who have a PDA student in their classroom and for parents who are struggling with family, friends, or people close to them who aren’t willing to understand what PDA is and what that means for their family.

Eliza Fricker is the illustrator behind “Missing the Mark” a deeply personal and all too human exploration of a mother’s journey navigating the education system and everyday life with a child who can’t go to school. Eliza’s latest book, Can’t Not Won’t will be published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers in December 2022.

Things you'll learn from this episode

• What makes demand avoidance more extreme in children with PDA
• Eliza’s experience in changing her parenting ways to become more flexible
• Tweaks teachers can use to work with children who have PDA in a classroom setting
• How PDA may look different than “typical demand avoidance” that we might see in some neurodivergent children
• What Eliza has learned about herself from parenting a child with PDA
• Advice for parents who are raising a child with PDA

Resources mentioned for PDA

• Eliza Fricker’s website
• The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker
• An Intro to PDA brought to you by Harry Thompson and Laura Kerbey, illustrated by Eliza Fricker
• Eliza Fricker / Missing the Mark on Facebook
• Eliza Fricker / Missing the Mark on Twitter
• Neurodivergent Education and Support Training (N-est)
• Harry Thompson’s website
• PDA of North America
• Alfie Kohn on Practicing Unconditional Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast)

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