Why do Betrayed Partners Feel Unsafe? What does it take to Feel Safe Again and Why is this Critical to Healing?

In episode 201, Mark and Steve address a very genuine and vulnerable cry for help from a woman who was severely betrayed by her husband. Her message and questions were lengthy, so here's a summary of what she submitted to PBSE—

-  Our PBSE listener had a good friend who was temporarily living in her home. Her husband had an affair with the friend while she was staying there. 

-  When confronted, the husband and friend both blamed our listener for the situation, claiming it was because our listener  was in menopause. 

-  This was followed by months of gaslighting, blaming and shaming which led to a nervous breakdown for our listener. 

-  Since then, the husband has done a little work, admitting to using porn, but has continued to stonewall, blame, shame, patronize, show disrespect, talk over her, etc. 

-  When our listener shared what she authentically needs for them to try and move forward (therapy, 12-Step, D2C, etc.) he declined saying that he was taking an online porn addiction course and that's all he can handle right now.

-  All of this has continued "heaping on" until our listener feels completely unsafe in the relationship and in her own home. Her husband does not understand why she doesn't feel safe and insists he "is not a danger to her." 

Our listener asked us the following questions—"Can you please do a podcast about safety for the betrayed spouse? Why we don't feel safe, what it takes to make us feel safe and how important it is for us to start feeling safe again? And also what makes us feel threatened and unsafe?"


Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve in 3 one-hour sessions every week—addicts, spouses and couples! And live support groups on weekends, facilitated by Mark and Steve! To try a free, 2-week trial, visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services