Marriage and money: why spouses fight about money, how to fight with empathy, and how to convince your spouse to FIRE

#65: Last time we talked about money issues when dating.

But dating isn’t the end game (for most).

As the schoolyard song goes: “First comes love, then comes marriage…”

…And money matters, if anything, get amplified once you’re married.

It’s why money problems are the top or second leading cause of failed marriages (read: divorce) depending on which study you read…and it’s always a contributing factor even if it isn’t the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

So this week, I continue my conversation with Megan McCoy and Ed Coambs, two leading marriage therapists who specialize in financial therapy and conflict, to discuss how money matters get more complex after marriage…and what spouses can do about it to preserve and strengthen their relationship.

We discuss:

• The most common reasons and triggers why couples fight about money
• Whether keeping separate money accounts is a good idea
• How to fight about money productively, with empathy, to keep your relationship healthy and even strengthen it
• Where spouses should learn to compromise when it comes to money and finances
• Intentional money rituals that spouses can do to keep their relationship healthy
• How to get your spouse on board with early retirement (and the financial sacrifices required to do it)

Check it out here:

https://hackyourwealth.com/money-marriage

What is the most important thing young married couples should know about handling money issues together? Do you think keeping separate money accounts is a good idea? What’s your best advice for fighting about money with your spouse, with empathy? Let me know by leaving a comment.

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Links mentioned in this episode:

• Ed Coambs’ Healthy Love & Money
• Megan McCoy, Ph.D., LMFT
• Money Scripts article; Klontz Money Script Inventory
• Prepare Enrich workbook for couples
• Dew, J., & Dakin, J. (2011). Financial Disagreements and Marital Conflict Tactics. Journal of Financial Therapy, 2 (1) 7
• Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
• Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships
• HYW private Facebook community

 Intro/Outro: Old Bossa by Twin Musicom.