248 Stories Series: Discipline of Celebration in the Midst of Unexpected Loss and Grief with Jonathan Pitts

248. Stories Series: Discipline of Celebration in the Midst of Unexpected Loss and Grief with Jonathan Pitts

 

Psalm 37:4 (ESV) "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

 

**Transcription Below**

 

Questions We Discuss:

1. How did your magazine, For Girls Like You, originate?
2. How did life unexpectedly change during this season of your life?
3. Will you catch us up to speed on what God had planned for you next?

 

Other Episode Mentioned from The Savvy Sauce:

Unexpected Grief and What Helped Me Through It Can Help You Too with Singer and Blogger, Brittany Price Brooker

 

Jonathan Pitts is a pastor and author. Since the passing of our founder and his late wife, Wynter, in 2018, Jonathan Pitts has been steering the ship at For Girls Like You. A ministry executive for almost 20 years, Jonathan is a pastor and a relationship-minded visionary leader who is passionate about reaching girls with the hope of Jesus and how the hope that He gives shapes their identity and purpose.

 

Jonathan is the father of the four girls that have inspired the ministry from the very beginning, Alena, Kaitlyn Camryn & Olivia, and a son, Jonathan Joshua Arrow Pitts. He is married to his best friend, Peta, and an avid golfer.

 

Follow Jonathan on Instagram

For Girls Like You Website

Church of the City Website

 

Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company

 

Connect with The Savvy Sauce through Our Website

 

Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)

 

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

 

Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

 

Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” 

 

Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” 

 

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

 

Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” 

 

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

 

Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” 

 

Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

 

Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

 

Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”

 

Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”

 

Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“

 

Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“

 

Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

 

**Transcription**

 

[00:00:00] <music>

 

Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. 

 

[00:00:18] <music>

 

Laura Dugger: Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at LemanProperties.com or connect with them on Facebook. 

 

Jonathan Pitts is my guest today. His story of choosing a sacrifice of praise and remaining hopeful in the midst of experiencing loss after loss is inspiring. I just pray that this is uplifting to all who hear it. 

 

Here's our chat. 

 

Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Jonathan.

 

Jonathan Pitts: Glad to be with you, Laura.

 

Laura Dugger: Well, we're going to start by actually going back. So can you take us all the way back to your upbringing and just share a little bit about what childhood was like for you? [00:01:18] 

 

Jonathan Pitts: Sure. So I grew up in South Jersey, which most people think New York when they hear New Jersey, but kind of a really rural spot. My mom is the daughter of German Lutheran immigrants and grew up in Iowa. My dad was an African-American guy that grew up in South Jersey. And so I found myself kind of growing up in a pretty, I would say, poor family, mixed family. I'm mixed, so half German-American, half Black. It was really interesting.

 

I grew up in a Christian home. My parents are awesome, godly people, really humble and God's done a lot in our family. The beginning of my life was a bit of an identity crisis, because I kind of didn't really know who I was. I grew up in a pretty rural town. I was kind of brown and looked like a Black guy, but didn't really grow up around a lot of other Black people. So I just kind of grew up a little bit confused about who I was, and that would kind of work itself out. [00:02:17] 

 

And what's really neat is that God's worked in my life to kind of build a whole ministry in my life out of that. But yeah, like really humble means, South Jersey, really small, tiny, really Jesus-loving church that really shaped my siblings and I. I have Identical twin brother and three sisters. My parents were the kids' ministry leaders my whole life, and didn't even really retire until about maybe 10 years ago. So yeah, that was childhood.

 

Laura Dugger: That's incredible. I've got a few follow-up questions. But first, before I even circle back to that, what was your own story of personally putting your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?

 

Jonathan Pitts: You know, I would say my testimony is that I've tasted and seen that the Lord is good. It's that scripture I always go back to, because I grew up in a home where I don't really remember a day where I didn't know the Lord, or I didn't fear God, or I didn't at least seek to honor God and want to know Him and want to talk to Him. 

 

But I'm the kid that grew up in a Christian home that went off to college. [00:03:19] And when I got to college, I didn't literally say this, but in my mind I was like, Okay, I'm going to just kind of really taste and see what the world is like. I kind of grew up very, you know, pretty sheltered, pretty straight-laced kid in high school. I was an athlete. So playing sports. 

 

I was an Eagle Scout. I became an Eagle Scout at the age of 17. So I was kind of in a pretty like... I guess I'd call it pretty moral environment. And so I get to college and, you know, I'd never been really tested, I guess I'd say from a worldly perspective. And so when I got to college I kind of lived the life that many of my generation live, which is go to college and party. 

 

What I would say about my life is really quickly in that journey I realized... I kind of tasted a little bit of the world. And it tasted really bitter to me. It wasn't satisfying. There was nothing about it that was fulfilling. I'll spare you all the stories. But in general, I was kind of living this double life. I was in the gospel choir. I love this saying, I was in a very musical family. I was in the gospel choir. [00:04:18] 

 

My gospel choir leader was a man named Greg Ross, such a godly, humble man that was able to walk with college students where they are. And many of them oftentimes are kind of in this ambiguous expression of the Christians. They're trying to figure out what it means to be an adult, what it means to be a Christian. You know, it's like two steps forward, one step back, three steps forward, two steps back. He was a really patient man with me. 

 

Anyway, I was kind of living in two different worlds. And it's what's really beautiful for me is, you know, it was really kind of in relationship with my first wife that I was actually able to really rededicate my life to the Lord. Okay, I'm all in. I'm going after Him. I'm chasing after Him. And obviously that hasn't made me perfect, but it did give me a heart after the Lord that was always there. I think it was just a little bit covered up by just walking the ways of the world a little bit. So that's kind of a quick version. 

 

But I would say, even then, like the Lord never left me. He was always there. He actually loved me in my ambiguity. [00:05:17] I remember being in college and just partying, my roommates, my college roommates, who are some of my best friends to this day, but then like doing a Bible study with them. I actually ended up apologizing to one of my roommates a couple of years later for my hypocrisy and He was like, man... He actually... what's really beautiful is He saw Christ in me. I've actually had an opportunity to disciple Him over years. God's just really kind and generous and patient and long suffering with us, isn't He?

 

Laura Dugger: Oh, that is a good word. And how amazing that it came back that way. And yet I'm wondering... I'd love to zero in on that time of life of college and young adult years. Because you brought up Wynter, who you met, I believe, during that time. So could you kind of unpack...? You've alluded to Wynter and then also alluded to her being a part of your testimony. You rededicating your life to the Lord and your ministry, I think you were saying, is what helped you with your identity. So can you unpack all of that within your young adult years? [00:06:25] 

 

Jonathan Pitts: Yeah. I'll try. I met Wynter. I was 21 years old. It was a couple of days after 9-11, we found ourselves at one of my really good friends, we were at a party. And it was kind of like 9-11 had just happened. So everybody was so sad. And so we're like trying to liven up. It was my buddy's birthday. 

 

So I actually met her at a party. I actually got her number because I'd seen her on campus but I'd never... I remember seeing her on campus a year prior to meeting her and being like, who is that? I've never met her before. I was just kind of intrigued by who she was. But I was like that guy that was like super. I never called her. I was just kind of scared to call her. She was friends with my friend, so he made the connection for us. 

 

But anyway, I never called her. But maybe like two weeks later, three weeks later, I was in a class and she actually... I think I write about this in my book, or we write about this in a marriage book we wrote. But she actually was kind of stalking me on campus. She knew where I had this class at. And she stopped me one day and she goes, "Why haven't you called me yet?" So I called her. [00:07:24] 

 

We went on our first date, which was Monsters Inc., the original Monsters Inc., which kind of dates me. And quite honestly, you know, we both kind of grew up in similar environments. She grew up with a single mom, but her mom got saved in 1980, the year she was born. And, you know, just really always was discipling her and encouraging her in the Lord. But she found herself in college the same as me, just trying to figure out who she was. I would say God used us in each other's lives to bring us really close to Him. 

 

Anyway, it was kind of interesting. We dated for seven months. I proposed to her seven months into dating. And we were then engaged for a year. And it was really in that engagement year... we were sharing stories like our background. We both grew up in really charismatic churches. We had a lot in common. Even like some of the trauma we had from our upbringings and some of the great things about our upbringings, all that. So we kind of connected over that.

 

I would say our dating months and in the year of our engagement, God just really did a work on us to solidify who we were as individuals and who we were as a couple. [00:08:29] It was actually at her church, her childhood church that we both dedicated our lives to the Lord, which is really beautiful. I remember it to this day.

 

We get married in June of 2003, which was the same month we graduated from Drexel University in Philadelphia, which is where we met. But I'll never forget about a year before we got married, I remember sitting down on her stoop. She was in kind of like a brownstone. She's in an apartment like a brownstone in Philly, a really beautiful place. And we're sitting on the stoop and she said to me, she said, "I want to write a book." I just kind of laughed at her. I said, "Write a book about what?" And she's like, "I don't know. I just want to write a book."

 

And being the kind of self-righteous kid I was, I just said, "Well, you might want to figure out what you want to write a book about before you say you want to write a book." And she just kind of blew me off. Long story short, I'll kind of speed it up, we had our first daughter, Alena, in 2004. She was born less than a year after we got married. So she came pretty quick. We actually started our journey together after college in South Jersey, where I lived. [00:09:32] 

 

And I was in pharma sales and my company downsized. But they downsized at the same time that we actually went to Dallas to visit Wynter's family. Her uncle, Tony, who's a pastor in Dallas, Tony Evans, and her cousin, Priscilla Shire. It's this family that was a ministry dynasty that I kind of didn't even know who they were.

 

So we went on vacation. But as God would have it, He would use that trip to change our lives because we'd go there with our, I think, eight month old baby at that time, Alena. And all of her cousins had kids. She had four cousins with kids. None of my family had kids at New Jersey. None of her family had kids. Her brother didn't have kids in Baltimore where she grew up.

 

Long story short, her uncle was like, "Hey, I'm looking for a grant writer. You're a grant writer." Wynter was a grant writer by trade, pretty new. And I was looking for work. And so anyway, we said, "We'll try it for a year." We went to Texas.

 

And really God would use Texas to shape her life, shape my life, our family, but really our ministry as well. [00:10:31] Wynter would begin writing. She'd begin kind of blogging and creating content. She did grant writing for a couple of years. Then she just decided... We had two daughters pretty quickly. And then after our second daughter, Caitlin is her name, she said, "I think I need to be home." 

 

So in that process, though, God really did a work in her heart because, you know, we were both working pretty good jobs. But we weren't making crazy money. We really cut our income in half when she came home. It was really a trust process. But God did a work in her heart because the coming home.... You know, she always wanted to be a professional. She kind of struggled to be a stay-at-home mom or a homemaker or whatever you want to call it. And she wrote this scripture on a card. Her cousin would find it years later. But it was the scripture, delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. But she would write about that scripture impacting her. But she had actually put that scripture in her closet on the wall.

 

Her cousin who would buy the house from... somebody that bought the house from us would find that card in the closet where she would pray. [00:11:32] Long story short, God would use that verse to really just pull her heart deeply into being a mom. And it would be in that process that God would actually have her begin writing. 

 

She actually saw a need. Our oldest daughter was seven at the time and she saw a need for more content for twin girls, just girls that were beyond the mommy and me phase. And so she started creating what we just called a resource at the time, which would become a magazine called For Girls Like You Magazine, which is still a magazine to this day with thousands of subscribers. 

 

So, anyway, that was happening in her life. At the same time, I had begun working in ministry with Tony Evans and... Actually sorry, Anthony Evans, who is a singer. I got a job down there, just kind of a sales job that I was in. But I had lots of margin. 

 

And he was on the road singing and released the album. He was like, "Hey, do you want to go travel with me?" And so I traveled with him. And traveled with him one time... traveling with him two times to a bunch of times to road managing him. And then I began managing him. 

 

Long story short for me, that kind of fun weekend kind of job, just traveling to churches to help him with his concerts would lead to full management of his career for about seven years. [00:12:45] And then that would lead to me working at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, which is Dr. Evans Church. And really I would kind of grow up in the Evans brand of ministry and find a lot of joy and purpose in, I guess, two things. 

 

One, nonprofit leadership. The second would be pastoring. To this day I still pastor and I still lead ministry. I actually continue the ministry that Wynter began for Girls Like You. That would kind of be our time. We spent 14 years in Dallas raising our girls. It was a wonderful season of life before stepping into the next season. So I can keep talking about the next season if you want me to, or I can stop. So you let me know.

 

Laura Dugger: No, I definitely want to hear more, but I'll just interject. This is where I remember hearing about you and hearing about Wynter. And she was sharing on a podcast one time... I think she stayed up all night when she had this desire to create, like you said, just a resource. It was for your daughters. And she cut out pictures and I think maybe had some fashion pieces in there, but also probably Scripture and things about the Lord. And she put this all together, staying up all night. I think you all and people around her started encouraging her, "There's more here than just a nice resource for your family." Is that right? [00:14:05] 

 

Jonathan Pitts: Yeah. I mean, to me, I think it's one of the greatest encouragements to do whatever God puts on your heart, not having any idea that He might actually take the thing that you're doing and make it something beyond what you could ever imagine. 

 

I remember she downloaded a free copy of Adobe InDesign and started designing. And what's funny is I didn't realize until like three laptops later, because she kept downloading free copies of Adobe InDesign on different laptops so she could keep the free trial. I'm like, wow, she's really into this and she's actually creating something special.

 

She wasn't a designer. She just learned to design well enough to create this resource. What would become a magazine, the first issue, which we did a Kickstarter campaign for a thousand bucks. And if you gave like... I can't remember the amount of money, but maybe if it was like 30 bucks or 50 bucks, you'd get this resource. 

 

But the first one had an article on the history of Chuck Taylor's, but it also had devotional in it. It also had things that are fun for girls and entertaining and encouraging. 

 

We actually still call the magazine Edutainment to this day because we want to teach girls while we're also entertaining them, while we're also investing in their discipleship journey. [00:15:12] Yeah, it started out as just this labor of love that I would kind of encourage her to get organized around it. Because at that point I was organizing ministry. And she didn't even think it was the ministry at that point. It was just something she was doing. 

 

I think between my skillset and her skillset and the people around us, God would just use all of that to help us see a path forward for what would become a subscription magazine that would just grow over several years that at this point has now been going for, I want to say, 13 years.

 

Laura Dugger: Wow. Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor. 

 

[00:15:48] <music>

 

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[00:17:41] <music>

 

Laura Dugger: So I believe, if I have my timeline right, it was maybe 2017 or 2018 when I was starting the podcast and Wynter was on my initial list of people to reach out to asking her to be a guest. But your life unexpectedly changed at that time, and she was never able to be a guest. So can you share what happened in that season of life?

 

Jonathan Pitts: Yeah, yeah. So we were wrapping up our journey in Dallas. We both felt like God was moving us on, calling us somewhere else. What would happen is I would get an offer to be executive pastor at a church in Franklin, Tennessee, Nashville area. We actually have a church in Nashville as well called Church of the City. 

 

And we both just knew God was in it. So we packed our family up. We obviously did our best to honor the season of life we were in, the family we had built. I mean, honestly, the Evans family have become... I mean, the Evans kids, Priscilla Shire, Crystal Hearst, Jonathan Evans, Anthony Evans, they've become like siblings to me and Tony Evans has become a spiritual father to me. [00:18:50] 

 

Long story short, we packed up. We moved all of our stuff to Tennessee. We bought a home. This would be June 2018. We bought a house. We moved into that house. We actually left a couple of days later for my grandmother's 94th birthday and did a week in Iowa with my grandmother and all of my mom's family.

 

And then she would fly with my oldest daughter, Alena, to speak at an event in San Antonio while my three youngest girls and I drove to Dallas to really kind of wrap up the last week of my job at the Urban Alternative, which is a nonprofit for Dr. Tony Evans' teaching ministry. 

 

So we'd get there Sunday, I'd pick Wynter and Alena up from the airport. We actually were staying at her cousin's kind of ministry property that had a small kind of guest house on it. We were staying there. 

 

That Tuesday I'm just at my job creating standard operating procedures and all the things that you do when you're getting ready to leave. I was the executive director for a pretty significant Christian nonprofit. [00:19:50] And so I'm just doing all that. And I remember she texted me and she said, "Hey, I'm not feeling well." And I texted her back and said, "Hey, what's going on?" She never replied. 

 

So I ended up getting back to the house and I walk in and her and my sister-in-law, her brother's wife and their couple of kids, her daughters, actually, two girls were there with my girls and with Wynter. And they were all just sitting there and they were all doing each other's hair. And they were playing this game. Some of your listeners might know this game. But you say you can be an elephant, but you can't be a cat. You can be this, but you can't be that. I didn't know the game to this day. I don't know what it is. But they were playing this game and laughing and doing each other's hair. So I was like, Ooh, she must be fine. So I actually laid down and took a quick, like 15 minute power nap. I was so exhausted from all the travel.

 

We would then pass each other kind of... I was walking out of this master bedroom into the kitchen to cook dinner and she was kind of walking into the bedroom to kind of do a power nap herself. We kind of knew each other really well at that point. We operated really well together. So she went and laid down and I would make dinner, which was Costco ribs and Caesar salad, which I'll never eat again. [00:20:52] 

 

Long story short, I would eat some ribs with my girls. I would then go into the bedroom, I knocked on the door and said, "Hey, do you want to eat?" Said no. But I went into like after dinner to kind of floss my teeth from the ribs. I kind of look out and... you know, I've obviously told the story a lot over the last now almost six years. But she basically would have a cardiac dysrhythmia, they call it.

 

At the time, I thought she might be having a seizure and I would find out that her heart had stopped. So I would spend about 30 minutes, you know, doing CPR and calling the ambulance. My three youngest girls were home. Thank God my oldest daughter wasn't there. She had gone to kind of a water park with her oldest cousin. And so, yeah, long story short, she had a cardiac dysrhythmia. The way I say it, the way I like to say it, remember it is that she peacefully glided into the arms of the Lord while all that chaos was happening on earth. [00:21:53] 

 

Yeah, we would lose her really suddenly. My girls at that time, Alena was 14, Caitlin was 11, and my twins were 9. And we would lose her really suddenly. Two things were true for me. One, and I said this to her, we got to the hospital, and I would say to her as she was... you know, they kind of found a slight pulse, but then they told me it was gone. So you should come say goodbye to her. I sang over her. And then I said to her, "Hey, you don't have to worry about the girls. I'll take care of them."

 

So that was kind of one of those things in my heart. I was like this next journey is going to be about these girls. I'm not going to fail as a dad. I'm not going to fail their mom. I guess I caught sort of an inner vowel now because I think the thing that I did that was good about that is I leaned into what I think any dad that's in his right mind will lean into if he loses his wife and his child's mom. He's just going to give his whole life to leading those girls.

 

But I think in some ways it also set me up for, I think, difficult moments when I couldn't be perfect, especially when I was pastoring my girls and not fathering my girls, which is a whole other story. [00:23:03] But that was the one commitment I made in that moment. But then within a couple of weeks, I had made this commitment that I'm not going to let this ministry die. I'm going to continue this ministry on. 

 

What's funny is God initiated and started the ministry, and God's continued it. Same thing with my girls. God initiated their lives. I'm doing the best I can to steward all that He's put in my lap. And it would be a wild journey. 

 

What would be awesome about our journey is that God airlifted us out of Dallas and placed us in Franklin, Tennessee, which if you haven't been to Franklin, Tennessee, you ought to visit because it's honestly one of the most peaceful places I've ever been. I call it, and I think it still is, not just for me but for many people, an incubator of healing. I feel like we got here, and we were just enveloped by a healing environment, including our church but beyond our church to the community.

 

There's a counselor here that you may know of, Sissy Goff, who Wynter had actually had on her podcast a few months before. [00:24:02] And she would actually become my girl's counselor and kind of like a family counselor to us as well. She was a godsend.

 

We would begin our healing journey, which I would say began and in some ways is still happening. Specifically for my girls, who they will grow up having a mom, but obviously just always experiencing that loss over and over again at different times in different ways. And so, yeah, it's been a wild journey, and God's done so much since then. But yeah, grateful that God brought us to where we are.

 

Laura Dugger: There really aren't words. I'm just so sorry for the sudden loss. I think she was only 38 years old, I believe.

 

Jonathan Pitts: 38, yeah.

 

Laura Dugger: And just the trauma that that introduces to the family, and yet so admirable the way that the Lord empowered you to have the strength to really love your daughters well. [00:25:01] And you have led all of us to see you doing that well. Even in the midst of that grief after losing Wynter, I remember hearing you say that you never lost your joy or your gratitude. And that was so intriguing to me. Will you just tell us more?

 

Jonathan Pitts: Yeah, I actually did a talk for my church, probably a couple years after that, that I had... actually somebody else share with me on the discipline of celebration, which is kind of a spiritual discipline, I would just call it. But it goes back to Philippians 4:8, which says, Whatever is true, whatever's right, whatever is honorable, whatever's pure, whatever's lovely, whatever's admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think on these things or dwell on these things. 

 

And for me, what was really cool, I guess, just growing up in my home, and I credit my parents... My parents never shielded me and my family from hard times. We lived a lot of hard times. They didn't shield us from death or loss. Our church was a really small church. [00:26:01] I remember I went to so many funerals before I even turned 18. 

 

I think what I would say is my family discipled me in the discipline of celebration and also just this healthy understanding of loss. There was no part of me that felt like God failed me or God owed me anything more. And so when Wynter passed away, I kind of had this innate first gratitude. We were married 15 years and 27 days when she passed away. On our 15-year anniversary, I actually surprised her. We did a wonderful dinner, and then I surprised her. I took her to this mansion in our area, and we did this candlelight dessert. We actually shared this dance together — Still the one. There was a mashup song called It's Still the One, Shania Twain, and another song. I'm forgetting it right now. You can actually find it if you Google — our 15-year anniversary. But I actually got to celebrate our marriage with her. [00:26:58] 

 

So I was thinking about that. Obviously, I was really sad. I was depressed in many ways. But there was still this underlying gratitude for what God did. I didn't deserve her. I didn't earn her. I didn't deserve the family I had. I didn't earn the family I had. God had just been gracious and patient with me. There was this gratitude. I actually taught on that scripture and the discipline of celebration, and I just actually shared what God had done inside of me. And really what I hope, if you have it, you lean into it. And if you don't have it, that you begin to disciple... find somebody to disciple you in it or disciple yourself in it through scripture and through practicing it. 

 

So leaning in, remembering, thinking about, trusting whatever's true, whatever's honorable, whatever's right, whatever's pure, whatever's lovely, whatever's admirable, whatever's excellent and praiseworthy. Thinking on these things, dwelling on these things, practicing that in your life.

 

It doesn't matter whether it's the loss of a spouse or it's just as simple as you didn't get the raise you wanted. Or your kid did the wrong thing at school. [00:27:58] Whatever it is, rather than leaning into the worst thoughts, lean into God thoughts, which is what's right and true and honorable and pure and lovely and admirable and praiseworthy.

 

There is something in every circumstance we walk into that we can dwell on that is better than we might naturally think or what the enemy might want us to think. So I just tried to do that. And actually, I noticed that I was doing that. And I would credit my parents and just the people that discipled me for that journey. 

 

And really the first time that happened was, in our loss, I had to walk into this room, this family room after Wynter passed away, and the girls are in there. Thankfully, I had my spiritual dad, Tony Evans, and Priscilla Shire was there. A couple of family members and my other pastor, Scott Wilson, was there. By that time, people had gotten to the hospital. So I walked into that room with support. 

 

But I got down on my knee and I said to my girls... the only thing that I knew was both true and hopeful in that moment, which is mommy went home to be with Jesus. And so it's like I kind of had this... I can't take credit for it because it was just there. But I had kind of this innate desire to want to lean into what's good and pure and right and lovely and honorable and praiseworthy and trustworthy. [00:29:07] I'm not butchering the script because I'm saying it so many times. But the reality is, I leaned into that.

 

Now, I don't want to say like... obviously like there's so many, you know... I mean, you know this is a therapist. But the reality is there are all these emotions that we need to experience, which includes anger. It includes like all these different things that I don't naturally do. I think anger is one of those emotions that I actually didn't know until probably getting into the new season where I was going to begin courting my now wife. That I would say things like, "I didn't ask for this. Like talking about the hardship with my girls in that process. I didn't ask for this.

 

So those things I had to learn that I'm still learning to do, honestly, that are godly things to do. But yeah, that was one for me. So yeah, I'll be quiet for a second. Sorry, I'm just running on.

 

Laura Dugger: No, that is incredible just to hear, again, like that gift that God gave you to meditate on that scripture and the power that He gave you to live it out. You're reminding me of something a previous guest said. [00:30:07] Her name's Brittany Price Brooker. And during the darkest season of her life, she was at church and she sensed God asking her, will you offer me a sacrifice of praise? And that is in scripture, the sacrifice of praise. And it sounds like the spiritual discipline of celebration as well. That's just very humbling to hear. 

 

But Jonathan, you also continued on to make sure that Wynter's legacy would live on today. Can you share a few ways that you're actually doing that?

 

Jonathan Pitts: Yeah. I mean, obviously, the first thing I did is just try to really... Well, the first thing God did. Let's just say that. My older sister kind of after the funeral at the dinner, she said to me, "Hey, if you need me, God told me to come help you." She was living in New Jersey at the time. My sister, Carmen, had never been married, never had kids. I actually was like, "I'll be okay." [00:31:04] And I'm like this type A pastor thinking I'm going to just go to Nashville. I'm going to be just fine. 

 

Anyway, a couple weeks later, I brought a chicken. And I remember coming up into my master bedroom in tears because I was just frustrated. And I called her and I said, "Hey, would you still come? And she said yes. Two weeks later, she was on a plane with a couple of bags and kind of gotten rid of her car and broke her lease and did all the things she had to do to come. And she was here. She actually would become a surrogate mom. My girls lived with me for three years after Wynter passed away.

 

So God actually knew what my girls would need in terms of additional mothering. And He would send that support. So He sent Carmen, other cousins and aunties and different people in my girl's life. That was one thing God did. I did the best I could to father them and make room for other people in their lives to come alongside. So God did that.

 

God also just gave me this heart to carry on for Girls Like You Magazine. [00:32:01] I actually turned what was I jokingly called a for-profit nonprofit because it was a for-profit organization that never made any money. I mean, Wynter published a magazine, but she'd go on to publish eight book titles, seven before she died. And the eighth one, she was actually working... She was taking a nap because she's going to work on the night that she died. She's probably 85% percent on that book, which I helped finish. But long story short, God would just do so much. She actually wrote that book that I mentioned in the beginning. She wrote way more than one book. And now she has like, I don't know, it's like 18 different resources in her name because she wrote so much other content before passing away. 

 

So long story short, I turned that fledgling for-profit into a nonprofit because I knew that it needed to carry on. I also knew that the only way it could is if generous people came alongside. Because we never we never took a lot of advertising and the price of the magazine subscription would never cover the cost of creating quality content for girls. [00:32:59] 

 

So for Girls Like You Ministries is now a nonprofit organization that has a subscriber base of around, I want to say, five thousand girls now. And we distribute somewhere between 6,000 and 10,000 magazines every other month, depending on the partners we have.

 

We have a lot of church partners in different organizations that we send the magazine to to give to girls that would never be able to afford it or find it. 

 

So anyway, carry that on. I've got a host of dedicated people, including several moms of tween girls that carry the ministry on with me. I've got a publisher named Roberta who God would bring to us six months before Wynter passed away. We hired her not knowing if we could even afford her. And she still is our publisher to this day. She's an amazing woman that's on our team. 

 

But God's done that. I've just been the guy that's a big cheerleader that has... you know, all along the road my entire life, I've kind of fell for God's just continue to be gracious and use my gifts, but also be patient and merciful with me. [00:33:58] So it's a privilege to get to carry it on. It's a beautiful part of the portfolio of work that God's given me.

 

Laura Dugger: It is. And our household, we are subscribers and our girls delight in that. It is giddy squeals when that arrives in the mailbox. We loved it so much. We've shared it with friends and we asked our library to carry it as well so that others could find out about it. So I can't sing your praises enough. If anybody hasn't heard of it before, could you just share the website if they would like to see it themselves?

 

Jonathan Pitts: Yeah. Forgirlslikeyou.com. F-O-R. Forgirlslikeyou.com is the website. All of our socials that's our handle as well for Girls Like You.

 

Laura Dugger: Wonderful. I highly recommend it. It has been an incredible resource. 

 

One reoccurring scripture that comes up for The Savvy Sauce is James 1:22. It says, "Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." And because our tagline here is Practical Chats for Intentional Living, we want to hear how you are applying these messages to your own life. [00:35:08] What action steps have you taken after hearing one of these podcasts that has improved your life a little bit? We would love to hear it. Please email us at info@thesavvysauce.com.

 

God has also done so much more. Will you catch us up to speed on what he had planned for you next?

 

Jonathan Pitts: Yeah, it's interesting. I started writing immediately when Wynter passed away because I was just journaling all that God had done. I'm actually practicing Philippians 4:8 by just writing down every story I could remember about our life and our marriage and our family and what God did in ministry. So I ended up writing a book called My Wynter Season, Wynter with a Y, because that's how you spell her name. 

 

I call it a seasonal memoir because it was really... It's not a grief book. It's a book on what God did in that season of our lives. And so I wrote that book. And what's funny is, is I was getting ready to release that book. I would get a phone call from... that was two years after Wynter passed away. I got a phone call from a friend of mine who's a filmmaker, kind of a Christian, kind of faith driven filmmaker, a guy named Darren. [00:36:14] And I'd met him a year and a half prior, six months after Wynter passed away. And I was in all my grief. I kind of was starting my grief journey. Because I was so hopeful and I had so much energy to raise my girls, I hadn't really started grieving yet. So six months into my grieving journey, I find myself in California at a dinner by myself, very lonely, isolated.

 

And I sat down for dinner with a guy named Darren, his wife, Krista, and I shared my whole story with them. And a year and a half later, he would actually call me. We'd kept in touch because we had a common friend and just really connected. Darren said to me, "Hey, I feel like the Holy Spirit asked me to introduce you to my friend of mine. She's got a big story. It's her story to share. She's an actor and she worked on one of my films and I just feel like God told me to introduce you guys. Would you be open to meeting her? Are you dating again?" I said, "Well, I'm not dating. I'm dating my girls and I'm playing golf" is exactly what I told him. And obviously working and pastoring. I was quite content and satisfied. I think I got settled into the season I was in. [00:37:13] 

 

You know, I kind of share the highlights of our story, but I just walked through a lot. I was just discovering kind of who I was and how to just grieve well. And so I wasn't really thinking much about moving forward or moving on as... people get annoyed when you use those different terms. I don't know how to say.

 

So moving forward, moving on, I wasn't thinking much about it. But anyway, I said, Man, I don't know. That's kind of actually something scary to me. I'm a pastor in Tennessee. She's an actor in LA, by the way, called missionally to Hollywood, got saved as an adult in Australia, which was where she's from and was an actor there. 

 

And long story short, I just said to him, I said, "Can I see a picture of her?" And he sent a picture and I said, "I'll meet her." Look, I'll tell you this, like God is... I think the thing I learned in my 40s... two things I learned in my 40s. One is that I was a Pharisee in my heart. Like I thought I knew who and what Christians could be and what they could look like. Meeting my now wife, Peta, who we had no connections in common, we were from different worlds, she was from Australia, gave her life to Christ as an adult, thought missionally called to Hollywood. [00:38:23] I thought I knew what that meant, you know, and I didn't really know what that meant. 

 

What I would discover is that God, He's just got... His people are everywhere in every space, trying to win as many people as they can to Him. They're just doing their craft well, and also loving people along the way and obviously living obediently for Him. What's funny is kind of the same way it happened with Wynter, I would fall vastly in love with Peta. We dated for six months. I knew we were serious. We got on our first Zoom call because it was COVID and she was in California and I was in Tennessee. We did a Zoom call. I shared my story. I actually said, "No pressure. I've already met the love of my life," which she was like, "This dude's not ready." Because I said that. 

 

But anyway, long story short, we did our first Zoom call. I shared my story. She shared her story. We both have big stories and God is intertwined through all of it. It's too much of a story to tell, but we fell in love and we were engaged for nine months and nine months we were completely separate except for 10 days, which was actually a real gift to my girls. [00:39:29] 

 

So we've now been married for three years on October 1st, and we actually have had a big, long journey. We had a miscarriage right away. We had a stillborn son. And then we just recently had a little boy named Jonathan who is... he actually turned four months on Father's Day and is a growing little man. I say that about Father's Day because I never thought I would have a son. One of the great redemptions I think in my life is getting back something I never even thought that I wanted.

 

That's a whole other story to tell, but God has been faithful to me and to my family. I've got this big blended family now, which is a whole other journey and a whole other scary thing that I was not ready for. So it's really beautiful, but that's been a journey as well.

 

Laura Dugger: And that journey sounds like a part two, that we'll have to have some time with you and Peta. We'd just love to hear more.

 

Jonathan Pitts: Yeah.

 

Laura Dugger: Grateful. [00:40:28] 

 

Jonathan Pitts: We'd love to tell that story. That will tell my life, tell our lives, yeah.

 

Laura Dugger: Well, we will consider that to be continued. But this time has been such a gift. Jonathan, is there any place that we could go after this conversation to follow you and learn more from you?

 

Jonathan Pitts: Well, I mean, follow me for sure. Learn from me by God's grace. I would say For Girls Like You is a place...you know, I'm kind of still heavily involved. I say I father that ministry. So For Girls Like You is one place. Instagram is kind of probably where I share my life the most. And I don't know why I use this name, but it's Pitsjr26. That's my social handle. But you know, I mostly share just about my family there. But I also will share encouraging things from time to time, pastoral things. 

 

You can always check me out at Church of the City too. Church of the City, if you're in the Franklin area, if you find yourself in Nashville, love to have you at our church. I still pastor at Church of the City. So would love to see anybody that's listening that would want to come to an awesome church.

 

Laura Dugger: Yeah, that's now on my bucket list. Our family would love to come down. [00:41:31] My husband would probably love to play a round of golf with you if we're down there.

 

Jonathan Pitts: Oh my gosh, let's do it. If there's any excuse to play a round of golf, I'm doing it. Even this week, I've been traveling and I'm trying to find, where can I find at least two hours to go play nine holes?   It's kind of the only thing I do for fun besides watch golf is play golf. So that's kind of my hobby.

 

Laura Dugger: Oh, I love it. Well, you are familiar that we're called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so as my final question for you today, Jonathan, what is your savvy sauce?

 

Jonathan Pitts: I think my Savvy Sauce right now is, this is going to sound like a simple thing and maybe even a little bit cliché, but it's just like stay humble. I'm just reminded so much recently of I think just the humanity of myself and the humanity of all of us, that God works in spite of us, that He's gracious and that He's merciful. So anything that God has done in my life, anything that God has done in your life, it's only been through His grace and mercy. [00:42:31] 

 

I just say stay humble about that because the Bible says that those that exalt themselves will be humbled and those who are humble will be exalted. And so it's just like one of those things I want to remind myself over and over again, that the only way that God is going to work in my life and exalt me, which only just means bring me to his level, bring me to Him, bring me closer to Him, bring me into His presence, which everything good in life comes from that, is for me to humble myself. And so, yeah, just stay humble. It's really a valuable thing to do and it's the best way to live.

 

Laura Dugger: I love that that's your savvy sauce because that is really the word that comes to mind to describe you because we've had just a few interactions prior to today that were related to partnerships in ministry. And I experienced you the same way during every interaction, and that was humble. But also just down to earth and encouraging and very gifted. So you combine all of that. I just want to say it was an honor to get to chat with you today and hear more of your story. [00:43:34] So thank you for being my guest.

 

Jonathan Pitts: Yeah, thank you for having me. And all glory to God for anything He's done in and through my life. So thank you for just allowing me to share my story. They say people that are grieving, they long to be... I think it's known, heard and loved. And just for me, being able to share my story has been such a fulfilling thing. So thank you for allowing me to share.

 

Laura Dugger: Wow. My pleasure. 

 

One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves.

 

This means there is absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a Savior.  [00:44:36] 

 

But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news.

 

Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us.

 

Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 

 

So would you pray with me now? Heavenly Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. [00:45:38] Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. 

 

If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him. You get the opportunity to live your life for Him. And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you ready to get started? 

 

First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes & Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible, and I love it. You can start by reading the Book of John. 

 

Also, get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps, such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. [00:46:40] 

 

We want to celebrate with you too, so feel free to leave a comment for us here if you did make a decision to follow Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process. 

 

Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. 

 

If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.