Episode 1453 When Friends Become Problems: Boundaries, Money, and Tough Conversations

Good morning, good afternoon, or even good evening, wherever you are in the world. I am your presenter and host. I am Murray Stewart, and this is episode 1453 of Blind Magic in Alice Springs. Well, well, the issue of problem friends. Yeah, the issue of problem. Friends can be Exactly that, problematical. I have a friend, a good friend, who has a multitude of issues leading to me not trusting him when it comes to money. So what do I do? Well, I guess the first thing to tell you is I don't have all of the answers. I seriously do not have all of the answers because I do want to be a good friend to him but I most definitely don't want bad energy in my home and I don't want to be ripped off financially, so I'm going to have to think very carefully about a plan of. How I can Be a good friend and also safeguard myself So I guess the first thing that I've decided is to be assertive. Yeah, be very assertive. If there is something that's bothering me, speak up. Tell him straight. What is bothering me? Let me give you an example. If I go to one of the licensed venues here in Alice Springs and he leaves me sitting there while he goes and plays the poker machines, I think when he comes back, tell him about your displeasure. I think it would go like something like this. I thought we came to this club together, and I would be greeted with a, well, we did, we did. Well, yes, we did, but you have spent the last hour playing the poker machines, and I know that's exactly what you have done, because you have an issue, and you have got to get on top of this, because the only reason why this club exists is because you're going to lose. Yeah, that's how it works. You're going to lose money, not win. That's the reason why the machines are in this club at all, is to support the club, to continue building the club. And the only way for that to happen is for you to continue losing. So yes, being assertive. And when he comes to my house, make sure that I have all of my needs for the day. Invite him to bring all of his needs for the day. You know, it might be that we're going to have a drink while we're watching the footy, for example. And that way I don't have to ask him at all to go to the, you know, the bottle shop to buy me some wine, which would mean that I would need to hand him my credit card. Yeah, just keep him away full stop from my finances and also be very assertive with him about the things that are bothering you. I'm saying you because I'm giving you out there some advice as I work through my own problem on how to deal with this, and that's a few suggestions for you. I'll tell you what, I also have many, many good friends. I have many good friends, of which one of them I'm about to introduce to you. Elizabeth, how are you? I'm good, thank you, Murray. What a beautiful accent you have, a lovely accent. Thank you. Get in nice and close there to the microphone and let people hear that beautiful, beautiful voice of yours. Now, Elizabeth, I alluded to in the last podcast when I spoke about two ladies that were staying with me here at Blind Magic Headquarters. Thank you. And I spoke to you about the fact that they have come from a war-torn country and now they're here in Australia. Elizabeth, you must be loving Australia. I am, definitely. And yesterday it was interesting because you paused as you were about to go out for your morning walk to give thanks to John Howard, our previous Prime Minister, who during his time as Prime Minister was responsible for bringing people just like you to Australia. You're right, Mari. It was a great pleasure to see his photo on your wall. I never noticed until yesterday. Yeah, and really profound, Really profound. It really... Affected me in a positive way yesterday, the fact that you did that, because it's only people like you that could make a comment such as you did yesterday. Many people have seen Mr. Howard's photograph on the wall and never commented. But because of your experience, you gave thanks to him yesterday directly to me yeah now I'll tell you what we're going to do Elizabeth we are going to do a podcast together very soon to tell the world about your experience in South Sudan and now of course here in Alice Springs I just love hearing about stories like yours I absolutely do because I'm just so, so pleased to have you here and so excited that you have been able to get out of the environment you're in where your life was in danger to, in relative terms, safety of Australia. And I want to hear about your story. I want to hear about back in South Sudan and I want to hear about now here in Alice Springs. And I'm certain the listeners want to hear about that as well, Elizabeth. I'm certain they do, because these stories are magnificent. They are, and they should make all of my Australian listeners feel so lucky. So, so lucky. So would you do that with me, Elizabeth? I will be Glad to share my story. being here in Australia as my second home and living in my own country. And people are dying even now. They are. They are. They absolutely are. My pleasure and honor. And I want to know all about that. And I want to know about... And not only your journey in coming here and what it was like in South Sudan, but what it must be still like for you, knowing that there are people that you love that are still back in your homeland that are in danger. And I think it would actually benefit me to know more about how you're feeling, because I said to you yesterday, I said to you yesterday that I like you very much, and I do. But what I must also do is understand you, understand you. And I can only, in fact, we can only understand someone truly if we know about their backstory. And that's what I want to learn about. And we'll learn together right here on Blind Magic in Alice Springs. And we'll share that story with the rest of the world. Yeah? That would be fantastic, Maury. Beautiful. Okay, so this has been and always will be episode 1453, a Blind Magic Communications production.