Episode CCLXXIV: The Serious, the Silly, and the Seven-Foot Missionary

We discussed the murders at the Catholic Church in Minnesota; Jay vented about media spin, “manifesto cherry-picking,” and how every press conference turns into a Rorschach test. The takeaway: the killer’s writings were a stew of depression, contradictions, and bigotry—awful, not profound. The murderer stated that "six million was not enough," yet managed to completely avoid attaqing a synagogue, jewish politicians or yeshiva schools, just a Catholic Church with Catholic kids at Mass. How interesting. 

We watched the clip with the scribbles on the weapons—Russian here, God there, random symbols everywhere. Verdict: not a 4D chess ideologue; more like a chaotic Pinterest board of bad ideas. Disgusting, tragic, and yes, embarrassingly cringey.

CSI: Cyrillic

Sixty-six pages of “Da, but why?” The guy mapped a church like he was speed-running a terrible video game and then wrote it all in Cyrillic for… vibes? Jay side-eyed the official story, Chris poked holes in the logic, Angel asked the practical questions. SSRIs, gun control, and conspiracy bait all showed up; none left with a trophy.

Translating Doom (and Booking a Cruise)

Angel pulled a translated journal entry from the Annunciation Catholic School shooter—grim logistics for a future attack. We hit pause and took a palate cleanser: the infamous Carnival chicken-finger brawl. Angel priced a 4-day Long Beach→Mexico run at “shockingly cheap,” then reminded everyone alcohol isn’t included—because nothing says “vacation” like paying extra to forget a fistfight over tenders.

Elder Sasquatch Takes the Mission Field

For dessert, Jay’s folklore fanfic: Bigfoot is actually Cain, cursed to wander until he—plot twist—asks to be baptized, gets a haircut, and becomes a Mormon missionary. Picture a seven-foot “Elder Foot” in a crisp white shirt, learning slang and logging 76 years of door-to-door repentance. Somewhere there’s a name tag that just says “Brother… uh… Big.”

 

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