What fatherhood means to me

What does being a father mean to?  Is it important?  Do you feel some kinda way when you think about the concept of a father?  Being a father has been my primary job over the past 8 years.  I had to learn how to shepherd by son's hearts.  I had to heal, and help them heal.  I had to lead, and I listen.  I couldn't afford to lose anything or anyone else.  But, that was out of my hands.  Thankfully, I have not physically lost any of my sons, but I have lost family and people I thought were friends.  I wanted my sons, and men, to know that if I could make it, anyone can.  I wanted to bring a message of hope to men.  More importantly, I want men to have tools to help them heal, learn, and grow into the fully developed men they were intended.  It's a process.  We're all works in process.  We have to trust it.  Trust the process.  

 

Here are some tools that my sons and I have useful:

1. Listen without judgment:  Every wants and needs to be heard
2. Create a safe place for you children to ask questions and interact.  We may not always like or agree with the questions or comments made, but the should be made in the confines of our own home.  This will allow for open dialog.  Helps everyone to get on the same page.
3. Apologize when you're wrong:  No one's always right, or wrong.  Apologize sincerely, correct the behavior, and keep is moving'.  In other words:  "Clean up your side of the street"
4. No judgement:  Speak life if every circumstance, especially when it hard.  Life and death is in the power of the tongue.  It is not what you say, but how you say it that counts.
5. Give everyone a break:  Extend grace.  Sometimes people have bad days.  Sometimes we have bad days.  We need to be known for who we are, not for the moment we messed up.
6. Be open and willing to change:  Life's about how we adjust to changing circumstances.  Changes are going to come.  How we respond to them determines how far, and where we go.

 

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