Episode 71: What Love Is & What It Isn’t

Episode Overview

Welcome back to To Help You Heal. In this episode, I explore one of the most challenging and crucial topics in relationships: understanding what love is—and what it isn't. After talking with many women recently who feel unloved but are told otherwise by their partners, I thought it was time to address this head-on. If you're seeking clarity about your relationship or want to understand better what kind of love you truly deserve, this episode is for you.

Key Topics Discussed

• What Love Isn't:
  • Love should never make you feel manipulated, controlled, or inadequate. I'm talking about the signs of an unhealthy relationship, such as constant criticism from your partner, isolation from your loved ones, or convincing yourself that jealousy and possessiveness are signs of passion (instead of causes for concern).
  • Settling, hoping things will change, or clinging to the idea of what the relationship used to be. But if insecurities drive your relationship, it's not real love.
• What Love Is:
  • Love is rooted in safety, trust, and mutual growth. It allows you to be vulnerable without fear of judgment, helps you become the best version of yourself, and stands by you even when aren't perfect.
  • Love should be nurturing, reciprocal, and honest. It's about feeling accepted and cherished for who you are—right here, right now—without the pressure to change.
• How to Break Free:
  • If you're in a relationship that feels hollow or one-sided, I encourage you to take the first step toward freedom by speaking your truth to someone you trust. You don't have to make all the changes at once; you just need to begin with a conversation.
  • Write down what love means to you—what you truly want and deserve. Let this guide you when assessing whether your relationship aligns with those values.

Actionable Takeaways

• If your relationship feels empty or driven by insecurity, recognize it's not real love. You deserve to be loved for who you are, as you are.
• Reflect on what you want in a relationship and write it down. Use this to help you identify where you're settling.
• Share this episode with someone who might need to hear it, or use it as a starting point for meaningful conversations with friends or loved ones.

My Message to You

If you're feeling unloved or trapped in your relationship, this episode is for you. You deserve true love, safety, and acceptance. If my words resonate with you, don't hesitate to reach out to me. You are not alone.

Resources & Contact

• Need Support? If you're unsure where to start or need help making a change, I'm here for you. Email marie@mariemonville.com.