She’s Putting up Walls... Love Bites with Lifestyle Coach Francesca Luca

2025-07-10

Love Bites is a weekly segment on The South Shore's Morning News with lifestyle coach Francesca Luca. You can listen for advice every Wednesday morning at 9:10. The Francesca Luca Show airs every Wednesday evening between 8 and 9pm. This week’s Love Bites question:

This week’s Love Bites question:

My girlfriend is emotionally just not there. I do t know how to handle it She shuts down whenever we have intimate conversations.

I feel like I’m always walking on eggshells. She has never really been open with her feelings and when I open up she gets sort of anxious. Sometimes she even gets defensive. I am feeling lately very alone in the relationship. She seems like she is building walls not connection. HELP!!

“So… she’s on airplane mode?”

Let’s talk about it.
You’re with someone who shuts down emotionally.
You try to connect, but it’s like talking to a wall with Wi-Fi issues. She ghosts emotionally—goes all airplane mode—and you're left circling, waiting to land.

Cracking the emotional vault? Exhausting.
And Babe, let’s get one thing straight: you can’t force it.

Listen—
You are not crazy.
You are not needy.
And no, you’re not “too much” for wanting a little emotional depth in your relationship.

Because here's the truth: Emotional connection isn’t optional—it’s oxygen.
Without it, love doesn’t feel like love.

Reality Check Time

She shuts down the minute things get deeper than surface level.
When you open up, she gets defensive—like your feelings are some kind of threat?
And now? You’re tiptoeing. Walking on eggshells.

Let’s be honest:
There’s no real relationship when you’re afraid to be real.

And the loneliest part?
You're technically with someone, but you’re still alone.
Because connection isn’t about physical presence—it’s emotional presence. And that’s MIA.

LOVE BITES REAL TALK: Can’s & Can’ts

You can’t build a bridge while your partner’s busy building walls.
You can try patience. You can offer safety instead of pressure.
You can lead with love—vulnerability, warmth, curiosity.
But if she won’t meet you halfway?
You're not dating a partner. You're dragging an anchor.
Use curiosity over criticism. Make her feel seen, not attacked.
Model vulnerability. Show her real, so she has a chance to mirror it.

But Now Ask Yourself... For Real.

How long am I willing to be the only emotionally available person in this relationship?
What am I hoping will magically change?
And the hardest question: Is she even willing—or capable—of changing?

LOVE TIP

Love isn’t about staying silent so someone else can stay comfortable.
It’s about showing up.
Being seen.
Feeling safe to be you.

If she can’t give you that?
This might not be your forever person.
Believe her pattern.
This might be your wake-up call—not your love story.

Because Babe...
Love shouldn’t feel like begging.
It should feel like breathing—natural, mutual, and alive.

Your Love Bites Truth:

You can either: