Can You Forgive Someone Who Raped You?

2024-05-03

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/can-you-forgive-rape/ . What are the limits of forgiveness? Can you forgive even the worst sort of violations? I (Bruce) have worked with many people who are struggling with this question. In part, it depends on what you mean by “forgive.” Does forgiveness have to imply that you’ll try to restore your relationship? Or might you forgive someone, but still not trust them? Could you see forgiveness as getting the poison out of you? Ann Lamott famou...

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/can-you-forgive-rape/ .

What are the limits of forgiveness? Can you forgive even the worst sort of violations? I (Bruce) have worked with many people who are struggling with this question. In part, it depends on what you mean by “forgive.” Does forgiveness have to imply that you’ll try to restore your relationship? Or might you forgive someone, but still not trust them? Could you see forgiveness as getting the poison out of you? Ann Lamott famously noted that not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.

Along the way, we also talk about people getting canceled, trigger warnings, microaggressions—basically, a lot of stuff that might generate angry emails. Try to be kind, don’t panic, and have faith (our seven words) as you respond.

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Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

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