Sorry not sorry: Apologizing, Deflecting, and Undermining

Sometimes growth is about unlearning. Apologizing when we have done something wrong is a real strength, but compulsive apologizing can present as a weakness at work and in personal relationships. Research shows women apologize often and deflect praise in ways that can undermine our ambition.

This episode is NOT about shirking responsibility when we've done something wrong! It IS about ensuring that we don’t undermine or erode our authority by over apologizing, especially when we’ve done nothing wrong.

And the other side of that undermining coin is deflecting compliments. Research shows that women’s accomplishments are often undervalued, and our mistakes are more noticed and remembered, so we don’t want to contribute to the inequity deflecting attention from our accomplishments.

This episode speaks to the mindset shift and the skillset and toolset nuances that can have an impact on how our commentary will be received. We can develop habits that interrupt the biases and inequities that negatively and disproportionately impact women when we are intentional, mindful, and strategic in our communication.

Let’s continue to focus on mindset, skillset, and toolset changes that help interrupt a status quo that doesn't serve women’s success and create systems that help us transcend barriers and thrive. Learn how to shift from subtle undermining habits to habits that serve us…habits we can implement every day in small ways that can add up.

References:

Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

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Pantene ad (“Sorry not sorry”) https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI

Tightrope Bias (Williams & Dempsey, 2014) https://www.abajournal.com/magazine/article/4_common_patterns_of_bias_that_women_face_at_work_and_how_you_can_correct_t

https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolinecastrillon/2019/07/14/how-women-can-stop-apologizing-and-take-their-power-back/?sh=403632454ce6