It ain’t about love

Garth Heckman

The David Alliance

TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com 

 

 

"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another,” Luciano de Crescenzo, 

 

I would add - we will only fly as high to God as possible by which we can fly together each with our own wing and arm in arm with the other person. 

 

 

You don’t get married for a Good Time, you get married for a long time. 

 

You don’t get married to have kids, you get married to learn how not to be a kid, act like a kid, pout like a kid, complain like a kid, 

You don’t raise kids, they raise you. 

 

 

 

For example, in a marriage, we seem to assume that just because two people get married they must love each other. In reality, people do not get married because of love but in order to learn how to love. To have love in a marriage requires that the couple have intimacy and to have intimacy the two people must psychologically and spiritually grow up and quit being children. Most couples getting married today are doing so while still in states of emotional dependency, which means the marriage is based on neurotic need and not love. To have love and intimacy in a marriage requires that both people first must become adults.

 

 

* The same principles that sustain our relationship with Jesus also sustain a thriving marriage.

 

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## 1. **Covenant, Not Convenience**

 

* *Christ:* Luke 22:20 — sealed in His blood.

* *Marriage:* Malachi 2:14 — a covenant before God.

  **Teaching Point:** Both require lifelong, unwavering faithfulness.

  **Discussion:** What are practical ways we can treat marriage as a covenant instead of a contract?

 

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## 2. **Sacrificial Love**

 

* *Christ:* Ephesians 5:25 — gave Himself up.

* *Marriage:* Philippians 2:3–4 — putting spouse’s needs first.

  **Teaching Point:** Real love is costly and others-focused.

  **Exercise:** Each spouse lists one practical sacrifice they can make this week for the other.

 

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## 3. **Daily Connection**

 

* *Christ:* John 15:4 — abiding daily.

* *Marriage:* Requires intentional daily investment.

  **Teaching Point:** Distance grows when we neglect connection.

  **Reflection:** What “daily rhythms” can keep our relationship strong?