Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
A horror movie that thrills its audience with...uh....hmmm...sewing? Oh and a demon is summoned out of loneliness and a desire to have tea parties with dollies. This is so unbelievably bad.
"Annabelle" (2014) is a cinematic catastrophe that makes you question the very fabric of horror filmmaking. From a plot that can only be summarized as "a cult summons a demon who likes to play with dolls," to characters so insipid and carelessly written that you'll find yourself wishing for their swift demise, this movie is a masterclass in how not to make a horror film.
The narrative is so painfully dull that it makes you wonder if the filmmakers were even trying. The premise of a demonic entity toying with dolls could have been intriguing, but "Annabelle" manages to suck every ounce of excitement out of it. The scares are predictable, the tension is nonexistent, and the entire plot feels like a lazy rehash of every demon haunting movie ever made.
Let's talk about Mia, the main character who single-handedly takes the crown for the most inexplicably stupid and careless protagonist in horror history. As she faces supernatural threats, Mia's decisions become increasingly irrational, leaving audiences more frustrated than frightened. You'll find yourself yelling at the screen, not in terror, but in disbelief at the sheer idiocy and carelessness of her actions.
To add insult to injury, the film employs a narrative device that informs us the events we just suffered through never actually took place. It's a lazy attempt at following contractual obligations with the basis for it's "true story" that only serves to render the entire viewing experience utterly pointless. It's as if the filmmakers themselves realized the mess they had created and decided to hit the reset button, leaving audiences with a profound sense of wasted time.
Comparing "Annabelle" to other cinematic disasters like "Monster-A-Go-Go" might actually be an insult to the latter. While both films share the common denominator of having a plot only to reveal it was all a sham and deserving of zero stars, at least "Monster-A-Go-Go" doesn't pretend to be a good movie.
In conclusion, "Annabelle" is a horror film that fails on every conceivable level – from its moronic idiot plot to its infuriatingly dimwitted characters. Save yourself the agony and opt for a more thrilling cinematic experience, even if it means watching paint dry or staring at a blank screen.
Alien Resurrection - Horny science....in space!
Home Sweet Home Alone - Barbara Streisand‘s House
Die Hard 2 - Is dying soft an option?
Deep Blue Sea - Sharks love to party
Mad Dog Time - Questionable Decision Time
Fast Getaway - A lesson in a need for mothers
Aladdin - I wish I wasn‘t such a bad person, Daddy
Lady in the Water - Stinker Madness Rerun
The Terror Within II - Daddy‘s home, Monster Baby
Candyman - Not the bees!
Dragonheart - Death by cheese cart!
The Terror Within - The Texas Legislature should watch this
Vibes - Only the wrong ones
Beastmaster III - Dar isn‘t in control of anything
Terminal Exposure - HOT TUB LIMO!!!
Cop and a Half - Never cross the streams, kid?
White Tiger - The Zelchong are coming for you
Penitentiary - They ripped off Justin's novel!
Jungleground - The Magmaknockers were better
Space Truckers - Liquid Beef, cute but not the real thing.
Join Podbean Ads Marketplace and connect with engaged listeners.
Advertise Today
Create your
podcast in
minutes
It is Free
I Finally Watched...
Kill James Bond!
Now Playing - The Movie Review Podcast
Blank Check with Griffin & David
We Don’t Wanna Grow Up