A serving heart

A SERVING HEART

Matthew 20:20 Then the mother of Zebedee's sons came to Him with her sons, kneeling down and asking something from Him. And He said to her, “What do you wish?” She said to Him, “Grant that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on the left, in Your kingdom.”But Jesus answered and said, “You do not know what you ask. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?” They said to Him, “We are able.” So He said to them, “You will indeed drink My cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with; but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it is prepared by My Father.”And when the ten heard it, they were greatly displeased with the two brothers. But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the world lord it over people, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

THE PLAN – CHAPTER 14 - INSTRUCTION

They heard the approaching sound of voices talking excitedly, and especially loud and excited was the voice of a woman. It turned out to be James and John arriving with their mother, who was greeted warmly by them all, as she was a woman well known for her religious zeal. She knelt down, facing Jesus, with her two sons standing behind her.
“Jesus, I have a favor to ask of you concerning my two sons. I know that they are favorites of yours, which is wonderful, as they are very special boys. So I was wondering if you might give them a special place in your kingdom, to be seated next to you, one on your right hand and one on your left. I don’t mind which side, as that would be entirely up to you.” There was a stunned silence.
Peter could contain himself no longer. He let out a loud explosive ‘Baah!’ like the bellow of an ox in distress. Similar irate sounds and heated words were hurled at the two sons, from the rest of the disciples, and then even at one another, as it became clear that they were all coveting some special position one day, if not right now.

Jesus knew he had a difficult situation on his hands, so he addressed the mother first.
“You don’t know what you are asking for. It cannot be done that way.”
He helped her to her feet and she stood, shaken. Then Jesus addressed the men.
“What you are all wanting for yourselves is not even mine to give. Father has given you all to me, but he alone gives place and position as he sees fit. I will give you instruction and teaching and serve as an example for you to follow, but if you are to follow me then you must follow all the way. I have a cup of pain and sorrow that I must drink, and an ordeal of suffering that I must go through. Are you able to share that with me, instead of some position of importance that you think you deserve?”
“Yes Master,” they all said, nodding and mumbling sheepishly to each other, sobered by the rebuke, and surprised at the meanness that they had witnessed in their own hearts. Jesus went on.
“Well you have been called by my Father to share just that, and you can get your minds off anything else. You cannot behave like the Empire rulers. They like positions of power so that they can dominate others, using fear to get what they want out of them. That is not the proper use of authority.”
“We are truly sorry,” said James.
“I have not finished yet, so please listen. I will know that you have demonstrated true authority when I see you serving one another, not competing with one another. This is the way it has to be in my kingdom. I have been sent to serve, not to be served, and to lay down my life for others. This does not stop me from having complete authority in all that I have been called to do. It is the same with you, and for all who want to follow me.”
They lifted their downcast eyes one by one to look at him, expecting to see anger in his face, but all they saw was kindness.
“Just because I have to correct you doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. In fact it means that I do love you.”
They believed him. That day they learned a lot about God and a lot about themselves. They realized one thing above all else, that they could not live life without God. No one could.

“Could you teach us how to pray?” asked John.
Jesus thought for a moment then he knew exactly what he had to say. “Let me tell you how I pray.”
They sat up as one and prepared their minds and hearts to hear what he had to say.
“The first thing I think of is my Father, and of how I respect him and honor his name, Father. I think of the fact that he has made me to be who I am, and who I am comes from who he is. My life on earth exists because his life exists. This connects me to him, and he is always waiting for that connection, always.

Then I tell him that I want everything in my life to go according to his plan, the one he has thought of for His heavenly Kingdom, and for his will to be done on earth according to that plan.

I then ask him to provide for me all that I need for his plan to work out in my life. This takes away any insecurity about my personal needs. I thank him for pouring out his forgiveness upon a struggling humanity, and for allowing me to flow with him in this towards others. I also ask for protection from the evil plans of The Lie, who wants me to become independent from Father, the way he did.

After that I just give glory and honor to him in praise, telling him how great and awesome he is. Then I just relax and wait for what he puts in my spirit for us to talk about.”

He sat and waited.
Thomas had a question.
“How can we have the confidence to approach Father God like that? We are not like you, we are sinners. We feel shut away from him when we have let God down by being selfish. There are all kinds of things that we keep getting wrong.” He looked at his companions to see what they might say, or if they would just remain silent and let him look the fool. James coughed nervously, then stammered out,
“The worst thing I find about myself is that I tend to judge others for their faults and not see my own glaring mistakes.”
John edged forward and said tentatively,
“There are times when I just want my own way, and being kind like you is the last thing I think of.”
The kindness of Jesus again washed over their souls.
“Father knows that you fail quite often and that not one of you can be the person you would like to be, but nobody can escape the tug of the ‘Me’ self and its need to have its own way.” He looked at Peter who finally decided to speak up, the words rushing out of his bursting heart.
“I get dragged away by something dark inside of me that makes me want to defend myself. I find I have no room for God in my heart at times like that.”

Jesus leaned forward.
“There is only one way that you can rise above that tug from the darkness inside all of you, and that is by living each moment within the love of Father God. He has always wanted this for you and for every other person ever born.”
Jesus paused for a moment, and waited for this truth to sink into their minds.
“He can put aside all your wrongdoing and not let it come between you and him. He can draw you into the same love that he has with me, that is his Plan. But I must die first, lose my life for you, then rise up and present that life to Father, then I will be able to give you that life, and the same closeness with Father that I have.”
“How will this happen?” asked John.
“I am creating a new heart for humanity, a new motivation for living, so that everyone can enjoy and share in the love that exists between Father and me. Holy Spirit will place that amazing love in the hearts of all who ask for it.”

 John 12:25 He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.

Losing our life to save it is when the ‘me’ self makes way for the ‘Jesus with me’ self which is the true self. That is the narrow way that leads to life. ‘If any one serves me him my Father will honor’ (to honor means Father recognizing what we do as honoring Jesus and himself – not ourselves - out of our hearts) The ‘me’ self can live it's own life and follow its own idea of serving and not be where the ‘Jesus and me’ is going to.
That is where Jesus has to say as in - yes I saw you doing a lot of things saying you were doing them in my name but I never knew you (Matthew 7:23). Jesus was preparing his disciples for this narrow way - but they had to wait till the Holy Spirit had come before they could enter into it. Holy Spirit has arrived and now true serving can happen.
God is not impressed with our performance, at least he does not have confidence in it, as also Paul in his flesh (Philippians 3:4). But God has confidence in his empowered performance within our hearts in doing the best we can. His mercy overrides our imperfect performance when our hearts are knit with his. (don’t have to think of what it looks like before man, but what our heart is before the Father)