Ep. 73 “I Am Unworthy Of Having My Needs Met” - Mike Hatch’s False Narrative

From an early age, Mike Hatch learned to believe he was unworthy of having his needs met. Growing up in a tumultuous Christian household, he witnessed his parents' marriage fall apart, culminating in a pivotal moment when he and his brother had to call 911 during one of their fights. This experience led teenage Mike to conclude he was entirely on his own. This belief shaped his relationships into transactional exchanges, where he helped others solely to gain their approval. His unmet emotional needs and feelings of unworthiness eventually led to a pornography addiction. The turning point came when his fiancée caught him viewing pornography, throwing her engagement ring and two Bibles at him before walking out.

Rather than ending their relationship, this moment became what Mike calls "God's lifeline." His church community surrounded them with unconditional love and support, showing Mike that he could be fully known – flaws and all – and still be accepted. This experience transformed his understanding of worth and relationship with God.

Today, more than 20 years into his marriage, Mike serves as an executive coach and pastor in Pittsburgh, helping others find the same freedom he discovered. He describes the transition from his former life to his current one as taking off a heavy backpack – no longer burdened by the constant pressure to perform or gain approval. His focus has shifted from taking to giving, from seeking approval to holding space for others who are struggling. Mike emphasizes that the key to similar transformation lies in authentic connection with others and a relationship with God, noting that "the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety – it's connection."

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