DocWorking: The Whole Physician Podcast
Education:How To
“Giving yourself room to breathe, and at the same time that pressure to perform, perform, perform, was alleviated tremendously. So I think it's just finding those little hacks that make a big, big difference.” -Coach Gabriella Dennery MD
It’s understandable that you strive for perfection in your work life, but is it spilling over into your personal life too?
In today’s episode, Coaches Gabriella and Jill sit down to discuss perfectionism. You’ll hear why perfectionism can be so harmful, and different ways to combat this trait.
Let’s just go ahead and say it, perfection is unattainable, and trying to reach it can cause undue stress and anxiety. So let’s give ourselves a break and find the areas of our lives where 50-80% is enough, so that we can have the energy to put in more effort in the areas where lives depend on it.
Excerpts from the show:
“It’s stressful. The need to get that A+ all the time, get that letter of recommendation, get into a reputable residency program, pass the boards, etc. etc., get more letters of recommendation etc. Depending on your ambition and your aspirations and where you want to go, especially if you’re on an academic track, publishing, researching, etc. etc. It's a lot of pressure 24/7. And that pressure really starts early. It starts in undergrad when you're thinking about getting into med school and what you need to get the grades to get through the MCATs etc. etc. So there's not only that drive but it's accepted that somehow you have to be perfect and there's a lot of self judgment that goes around if you don't quite make the mark in your own estimation. It's not even in somebody else's. It's in your own estimation. After a while it becomes so automatic that it's something that becomes part of you.
I was reading an article from a psychologist who was talking about a university student saying that they worked really, really hard to get that A+, and they wanted to get that A+ and they got it. And then at the end, they said, ‘Well if it was really mine to have, I shouldn't have had to work so hard for it.’ Instead of saying, ‘Yeah I got my A+!’ So that need to be perfect prevents yourself from even celebrating the wins.” -Coach Gabriella Dennery MD
“I think it is so detrimental. Psychological research has shown that this is associated with depression, with suicidal ideations, and anxiety, this chasing chasing chasing. Chasing what exactly? So this becomes a given particularly in physicians. You're taking care of other people. You don't want to make mistakes. You want to make sure you get it right because somebody's life could be at risk. So it's trying to find that balance to say, ‘You know what, 80% is enough,’ and to get to that conclusion. To get to that ‘80% is good enough,’ that takes some work. Personally, it was years of being able to undo that habit. Of being able to say, ‘No, I don't have to be perfect, it has to be good.’ Because I'm not the only one involved in that person's care. I'm not the only one who has ideas and opinions and thoughts about that person's care. Or about how I even run my own life, because that spills over into personal life as well, (thinking,) ‘Everything has to be done right and I have to take care of everything.’ So to be able to say, ‘No, let me enlist people because I can’t take care of everything. I don't have all the ideas. Other people have other expertise that I can lean on.’ That was a big lesson for me personally as a physician.” -Coach Gabriella Dennery MD
“I had a beautiful experience of witnessing an insight for a physician several years ago, who was in her 50s and very burned out, and really struggling with that at that point in her career. Feeling like, ‘What have I done all this for? I'm so exhausted, I don't care like I used to,’ and all the things that show up in burnout. Through our conversations all of a sudden one day her eyes opened really wide and she actually started weeping and she said, ‘This is the first time in my whole life since I can remember, (since) when I was trying to get straight A's in sixth grade because I wanted to be a doctor someday, that I realized that I can want to do certain aspects of my life at a very high level of achievement, like taking care of the patient, like putting the extra in to make sure that I'm doing everything I can to take care of them. But I don't need to be at 100% in most other parts of my life.’ She said, ‘I know it sounds crazy but it just didn't dawn on me.’ It's like, ok, if I'm giving away all the crap that's loaded up in my garage, I don't need to find the perfect place to take every box, or if I need to feed my family, I don't need to have the perfect mix of macro nutrients. Because she started to realize that level of trying to pressurize herself with perfection in every other aspect was not allowing her to do the great job that she wanted to do in the one place where it mattered most.” -Master Certified Coach, Jill Farmer
“The thing I would say most importantly to everybody listening is, can you get more nuanced? Less of that distorted ‘all or nothing’ thinking. ‘Either I do it at 100 or I don't do it at all.’ Can you be more nuanced, and really be curious about your own life, and say, what are the areas where you're throwing in a lot more effort? If 51% is good enough then the amount of time you spend to get up to 100% is incrementally and exponentially a lot higher. How can you play with that?” -Master Certified Coach, Jill Farmer
Get One-on-One Coaching with Coach Gabriella Dennery MD
Get One-on-One Coaching with Master-Certified Coach Jill Farmer
DocWorking believes the time has come to prioritize the health and wellness of physicians.
Professional coaching is transformational. Elite athletes, award-winning actors and top-performing executives all know this, which is why they embrace coaching to achieve such extraordinary success. Leading corporations also know this, which is why they encourage coaching for employees at every level. Smart leaders leverage the power of coaching to achieve outcomes that are meaningful, measurable, and attainable. Our Coaches Will Show You How!
We have exciting news! Our live course, STAT: Quick Wins to Get Your Life Back is coming soon! Life is too short to be stretched so thin. Do you want more time to focus on what matters most to you? Our power packed plan fits easily into your busy day! Coaches Gabriella and Jill have taken all their best strategies from coaching hundreds of physicians over multiple years and folded them into one efficient course. You can easily practice these bite-sized strategies on your timeline: anytime, anywhere. Are you ready to invest in yourself, reclaim your time and minimize stress? Click here!
To learn more about DocWorking, visit us here!
Are you a physician who would like to tell your story? Please email Amanda, our producer at Amanda@docworking.com to apply.
And if you like our podcast and would like to subscribe and leave us a 5 star review, we would be extremely grateful!
We’re everywhere you like to get your podcasts! Apple iTunes, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Google, Pandora, PlayerFM, ListenNotes, Amazon, YouTube, Podbean
Some links in our blogs and show notes are affiliate links, and purchases made via those links may result in small payments to DW. These help toward our production costs. Thank you for supporting DocWorking: The Whole Physician Podcast!
Occasionally, we discuss financial and legal topics. We are not financial or legal professionals. Please consult a licensed professional for financial or legal advice regarding your specific situation.
Podcast produced by: Amanda Taran
209: Changing the Medical Culture One Team at a Time with Leadership Expert Tosca Bruno-van Vijfeijken
208: Passive Income and Real Estate Syndication as a Path to Financial Independence with Dr. Cherry Chen
207: Pre-Med Tips & How To Get In to Medical School With Dr. Shirag Shemmassian
206: The Rise of Lifestyle Medicine and Its Impact on Modern Practice with Dr. Iris Schrijver
205: A Nurse’s Story from Burnout to Real Estate Investment with Annette Forbes
204: How Physicians Can Become Better Negotiators with Leadership Coach, Dr. Sue Padernacht
203: How to Turn the Tide on Burnout with Nationally Renowned Expert Dr. Tina Shah
202: Why Healthcare Professionals Need to Understand the Four Quadrants of Leadership
201: How Physicians Can Design Success on Their Own Terms with Dr. Dawn Baker
200: Pediatrician Dr. Bill Sears on Modern Healthy Parenting
199: How One Doctor’s Burnout has Inspired an International Conversation
198: How An OB-Gyn Physician Found Work-Life Balance
197: How Physicians Can Bring Trauma-Informed Care to Their Patients with Dr. Sadie Elisseou
196: Why Physicians Would Benefit From Being More Vulnerable with Dr. Manizeh Mirza-Gruber
195: Americans and Crushing Medical Debt with Dr. Virgie Bright Ellington
194: How Doctors Can Use Vacations Effectively to Recharge Their Batteries with Dr. Victoria Silas
193: Why Physician & Healthcare Coaching Should Be a Normal Work Activity with Jill Farmer and Dr. Jen Barna
192: What Happens When Medical Teams Care for Each Other with Dr. Natasha W. Lewry Beauvais
191: Why Fly Solo? Helping Your Fellow Physicians Succeed with Wendy Kranz
190: Physician Entrepreneurship and the Path to Success with Dr. Jeffrey Hausfeld
Create your
podcast in
minutes
It is Free
LifeBlood
Meditation Life Skills Podcast
The Minimal Mom
Old Fashioned On Purpose
Financial Coaching for Women: How To Budget, Manage Money, Pay Off Debt, Save Money, Paycheck Plans