073 - Struggling with Difficult People? 5 Steps for Creating Healthy Boundaries (Glass Castle)

Greetings, friends. On this episode of the Bettys Podcast, Mary and Alexis spend a few minutes talking about kids and their underdeveloped taste buds. We also talk a little about chickens and pigs, but this episode is actually about boundaries: how to create them and when we might need them. 

 

Lexy discusses the memoir “The Glass Castle” by Jeannette Walls. Lexy read this quote from the book: “Mom, you have to leave Dad,” I said. She stopped doing her toe touches. “I can’t believe you would say that,” she said. “I can’t believe that you, of all people, would turn on your father.” I was Dad’s last defender, she continued, the only one who pretended to believe all his excuses and tales, and to have faith in his plans for the future. “He loves you so much,” Mom said. “How can you do this to him?” “I don’t blame Dad,” I said. And I didn’t. But Dad seemed hell-bent on destroying himself, and I was afraid he was going to pull us all down with him. “We’ve got to get away.”

 

Lexy talks about Nedra Tawwab, Ed Mylett, and Michell C. Clark, who says, “I forgive you, but my price went up.” Mary attempts to quote Brené Brown, but the actual quote about boundaries is from Prentiss Hemphill, and it says: “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”

 

Lexy shares five steps to setting healthy boundaries with difficult people (thanks to Dr. Atina Manvelian for this helpful post):

1. Be mindful of how you feel around them
2. Identify when your boundaries get crossed. Crossing boundaries = disrespect
3. Pause. Decide the best way to respond. In general, responses are not well-received when they are given in anger.
4. Be prepared for them to react strongly, because you’re going against their expectations. Setting a boundary is breaking a chain of patterns.
5. Set your boundary by telling them what you need, and responding in a way that protects YOU

 

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Thank you for listening, Betty. We hope this episode can help you be better about setting your own boundaries and respecting those of others. And remember that we love you more.