S3 Ep 3 The Morning Hack Every Dementia Caregiver Needs to Know (It Changes Everything!)

Welcome back to the Caregiver Secrets Podcast! This is the place where we share practical advice, heartfelt stories, and encouragement for you dear caregiver. I am overjoyed that you are listening today. Please know that you’re not alone on this journey, and together, we’ll share the joys and challenges of caregiving with compassion and support.

As always, let me remind you: this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please consult with the appropriate professionals for specific concerns. My role is to inform and support you as best I can, but the actions you take are totally up to you. With that said, let’s get down to business.

I am going to start with a wonderful story that depicts what we are discussing.

Lauren had always been a morning person—until caregiving took over her life. Before she moved in to care for her father, her mornings were predictable. A cup of coffee, a quiet moment with her journal, and a brisk walk before heading off to work. But now, mornings were chaos. Her father, who was in the mid-stage of dementia, often woke up confused, agitated, or refusing to get out of bed. Some days, he was pleasant and cooperative. Other days, he fought her on everything—changing clothes, eating breakfast, even brushing his teeth. Lauren never knew what to expect, and the unpredictability was exhausting.

One morning, after barely getting four hours of sleep, she walked into her dad’s room, dreading what was coming. “Dad, good morning! Time to get up.” He stared at her blankly. “No,” he muttered, pulling the blanket over his head.

Lauren sighed, knowing that if she pushed too hard, it would turn into a battle. But she also knew that letting him stay in bed too long would throw off the entire day. Instead of arguing, she tried something different. She played an old jazz song from his childhood, something her grandmother used to hum while making breakfast. As the familiar melody filled the room, her father peeked out from under the blanket, his face softening.

“Is that Louis Armstrong?” he asked.

“Yes, Dad! Remember when you played this song for me as a kid?”

His eyes brightened with recognition, and Lauren took that moment to gently hold his hand. “Let’s get you up and dressed while we listen,” she said. This time, he didn’t resist.

That was the day Lauren realized mornings didn’t have to be a struggle. With a little planning, she could set both herself and her father up for success. She started creating a morning routine checklist—one for her father and one for herself.

Mornings are one of the most critical parts of the caregiving day. A structured, dementia-friendly routine helps reduce confusion, prevent agitation, and create a sense of stability. Research from the National Institute on Aging confirms that structured routines lower stress for individuals with dementia, while disruptions can lead to increased resistance and agitation. Studies from Dr. Erik Musiek at Washington University highlight how circadian rhythm disruptions in Alzheimer’s can make waking up more challenging, which is why sensory cues—like music, light, and scent—can help ease the transition from sleep to wakefulness.

In my own caregiving journey with my mom, I learned this lesson firsthand. I discovered the power of my own personal routine about midway into my caregiving journey. Simultaneously, I discovered the importance of keeping a running checklist, to make sure I took into account every aspect of my routine. It made me feel more in control of my life and ensured that I was still moving forward with my own goals, even while caring for my mom. Ironically, what prompted me to develop my own written routine was recognizing how critical it was to create a checklist for my mom’s morning routine. I now keep a composition notebook filled with daily checklists—one for my mother and one for me. It’s been a lifesaver for both of us.

A predictable morning routine helps people with dementia feel safe. Imagine waking up every morning feeling lost, unsure of where you are, or why a stranger is telling you to get out of bed. That’s the reality for many dementia patients. But when caregivers create a structured, sensory-friendly morning, it builds familiarity and comfort.

Here are some simple yet powerful morning strategies to reduce stress for both you and your loved one:

 Use Sensory Cues for Gentle Wake-Ups – Instead of abruptly waking your loved one, try using soft music, natural light, or a familiar scent like coffee or lavender to help ease them into wakefulness. Studies in occupational therapy show that sensory cues help transition individuals with dementia between tasks more smoothly.

 Stick to a Predictable Order – Doing the same steps in the same order every morning creates a sense of familiarity and security. Start with small wins—like sitting up in bed before attempting bigger tasks like dressing.

 Avoid Rushing – People with dementia need extra time to process instructions. A slow, gentle pace prevents frustration and resistance.

 Give Choices, but Not Too Many – Instead of asking, “What do you want for breakfast?” which can be overwhelming, say, “Would you like oatmeal or eggs?” This gives a sense of control without causing decision fatigue.

Incorporate Movement Early – Light stretching or walking to the bathroom can help with stiffness and improve mood. If they resist, you can say, “Let’s go see what’s cooking in the kitchen,” and gently guide them.

Your Morning Routine Matters Too – Many caregivers sacrifice their own morning routines in order to take care of their loved ones, but that leads to burnout. Research shows that even small moments of self-care in the morning improve overall well-being. Even if it’s just a five-minute meditation, a short prayer, or a quiet cup of tea, making space for yourself will make you a more effective caregiver.

Caregiving is unpredictable, but a strong morning routine creates stability in an unstable situation. It won’t be perfect every day. Some mornings will still be tough. But with the right strategies, a bit of patience, and a whole lot of grace, you can transform chaotic mornings into calmer, more manageable starts.

I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever made a small change to a morning routine that made a big difference? Share your story in the comments or email me. And if this episode resonated with you, don’t forget to subscribe and share it with another caregiver who might need it today.

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Finally, I’d love for you to grab a free copy of my book, Get Risen. It’s written by a family caregiver for caregivers, and you can get it at bit.ly/GetRisen.

Take care, and remember, You’ve got this!