Much like morons storming the Michigan State House, we’re also here when no one wants us to be. This week we learn what happens when you teach a Zoom class with your porn bookmarked. The FDA wants to make hand sanitizer less delectable, but don’t worry it’ll still get you drunk. A woman got a little man-handled, and by that we mean she got a transplant of man hands. Does this mean she can mansplain if she's signing? A Swedish town is spreading chicken manure to keep crowds away. Finally, a U.S. court decided that only real people get to own intellectual property because the U.S. has never had any questionable history with “ownership” and “personhood.” What are you looking forward to once this quarantine is over? For us? McChickens. Welcome back to The Hour!