Welcome! Thank you for being with me today for The Way of Wisdom with Regina Sanders. This week we are going to explore Chesed, or loving kindness.
Love is the single most powerful and necessary component in life. We were created to be connected to others. When God created Adam He said, "It is not good for man to be alone." Love is the origin and foundation of all human interactions..."For God so loved the world, that He gave His ONLY Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life!" John 3:16. Love is both, giving and receiving. Love allows us to reach above and beyond ourselves. It allows us to experience another person and to allow that person to experience us. It is the tool by which we learn to experience the highest reality, God.
Healthy love must always include an element of discipline. A degree of distance and respect for the other. An assessment of the person's capacity to contain your love. Love must be tempered and directed properly. Ask a parent who in the name of love has spoiled his child; or someone who suffocates their spouse with love and doesn't allow her any space of her own...Love with discretion is necessary to avoid giving to those that don't deserve it.
There is love and there is beautiful love. True love includes empathy and compassion which makes it a beautiful love. Love is often fostered in expectation of reciprocity. Real love is expressed even when one gets nothing in return; even when the other doesn't deserve love. "Tiferet" (Compassion) is giving also to those that have hurt you. It acknowledges the discipline of gevurah and says that, nevertheless, compassionate love calls for helping all.
Is my love enduring? Does it withstand challenges and setbacks? Ups and downs of life? How much am I ready to fight for the love I have? Does my love have spirit and valor?
You can get locked in love and unable to forgive your beloved or to bend or compromise your position. Use humility in love; the ability to rise above yourself and forgive or give in to the one you love just for the sake of love even if you're convinced that you're right. Arrogant love is not love.
For love to be eternal it requires bonding. A sense of togetherness which actualizes the love in a joint effort. An intimate connection, kinship and attachment, benefiting both parties. This bonding bears fruit; the fruit born out of a healthy union.
Mature love comes with and brings personal dignity. An intimate feeling of nobility and regality. Knowing your special place and contribution in this world. Any love that is debilitating and breaks the human spirit is no love at all. For love to be complete it must have the dimension of personal sovereignty.
Today, examine the love aspect of love. The expression of love and its level of intensity. Everyone has the capacity to love in their hearts. The question is if and how we actualize and express it.
Ask yourself questions such as:
- What is my capacity to love another person?
- Do I have problems with giving?
- Am I stingy or selfish?
- it difficult for me to let someone else in my life?
- Do I have room for someone else? Do I allow room for someone else?
- Am I afraid of my vulnerability, of opening up and getting hurt?
- How do I express love?
- Am I able to communicate my true feelings?
- Do I withhold expressing love out of fear of reaction? Or on the contrary: I often express too much too early. Do others misunderstand my intentions?
- Whom do I love?
- Do I only love those that I relate to and who relate to me?
- Do I have the capacity to love a stranger; to lend a helping hand to someone I don't know?
- Do I express love only when it's comfortable?
- Why do I have problems with love and what can I do about it?
- Does my love include the other aspects of chesed, of loving kindness, without which love will be distorted and unable to be truly realized.?
- Is my love disciplined enough?
- Do others take advantage of my giving nature?
- Am I hurting anyone by becoming their crutch in the name of love?
- Am I hurting my children by forcing upon them my value system because I love them so?
- Do I respect the one I love or is it a selfish love?
- Am I sensitive to his feelings and attitudes?
- Do I see my beloved as an extension of myself and my needs?
- In my love, is there as much emphasis on the one I love and his ability to contain my love as there is on me and my giving?
Rain is a blessing only because it falls in drops that don't flood the fields. Help someone on their terms not on yours. Apply yourself to their specific needs even if fit takes effort. Offer a helping hand to a stranger. Do something that takes fight for a loved one.
Does love humble me? Am I arrogant notwithstanding - or sometimes, because I have the capacity to love? Do I realize that the ability to love comes from a greater, higher place; from God? And knowing that shouldn't I enter into any love with total humility, recognizing the great privilege of being able to love. Do I realize that through love I receive more than I give? Do I appreciate the one I love for this? Swallow your pride and reconcile with a loved one you have quarreled with.
Start building something constructive together with a loved one. Highlight an aspect in your love that has bolstered your spirit and enriched your life - and celebrate.
