What’s wrong with judging? The why and how of nonjudgmental stance

Many of us have heard people say things like, “try not to judge yourself so much” or “let go of your judgments." While we may intellectually recognize that judgments may not be all that helpful, we do not always feel well-grounded in why letting go of judgments is so important, or clear about what to do instead of judging. In this episode we talk about: 1) what makes a judgment a judgment and how judgmental statements differ from nonjudgmental ones, 2) the ways in which judgments can both help and harm us, 3) research supporting the importance of working toward more of a nonjudgmental stance, 4) specific, concrete strategies for responding to judgments effectively and shifting our relationship to judging. We end with a brief mindful practice that walks us through key steps involved in working toward a nonjudgmental stance in a specific area of our lives in which we are noticing judgment.

To connect more with Dr. Foynes:

1. Check out the free 4-part video series on building resilience: https://melissafoynes.com/free-series

2. 1:1 Coaching Program: https://melissafoynes.com/1-1-program

3. Follow @drfoynes on Instagram.

Additional resources

1. Shallcross, A. J., Troy, A. S., Boland, M., & Mauss, I. B. (2010). Let it be: Accepting negative emotional experiences predicts decreased negative affect and depressive symptoms. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(9), 921-929.

2. Geurtzen, N., Scholte, R. H., Engels, R. C., Tak, Y. R., & van Zundert, R. M. (2015). Association between mindful parenting and adolescents’ internalizing problems: non-judgmental acceptance of parenting as core element. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 24(4), 1117-1128.

3. Pepping, C. A., O’Donovan, A., & Davis, P. J. (2013). The positive effects of mindfulness on self-esteem. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 8(5), 376-386.

Please note that the information provided in this episode does not constitute professional advice or therapy, mental health services, or health care services, and is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional advice or services. If you are struggling with a mental health crisis or need immediate assistance, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.