Episode #115 - Jupiter Ascending

If I were able to actually mine a plot out of this mess of a movie, writing a synopsis would be a much less daunting task! In the year "whatever" a woman named Jupiter (Mila Kunis) is totally shocked when some aliens try to kill her, and even more shocked when a werewolf on rollerblades saves her life. Roller-Wolf (Channing Tatum) reveals that Jupiter is the most important person on Earth, and is in mortal danger because of it. When WhereIsMyShirt-Wolf fails to keep her from being kidnapped, he must stop her evil sons(?) from killing her and taking possession of Earth, where they plan to harvest every living human life and turn their essence into youth-goo. Grab your space skates, take a dip in youth-goo, and join us as we take away Jupiter Ascending's wings!